Alice in Borderland

Chapter 33 - Betting debt

I look at him in horror, but he only responds to my gaze with a certain coldness. He shouldn't know about Light, that's impossible. I never mentioned him, and I paid particular attention to that. Not before Kuina, not before Izumi or anyone else. Has Norikita ... no, she would never do that. For everything she could say about me, it would be one of the worst things. Did I say his name when I was playing with Niragi? Chishiya is intelligent, but he could never know about my hallucination.

"The jacket," he says after a time when I wasn't answering. I understand. Light's college jacket, but how can he conclude that I know Light. When he was in my room, the jacket was under my bed in the sports bag. He only saw them in my first game and in the conference room. But I think I know why he asked that question. The jacket is the only personal item I carry with me except for my grandmother's bracelet.

He's a long way better than I thought. How could he even remember, since then so much has happened. For a moment, I'm thinking about just telling him something. That Light is my best friend, that we were neighbors or that he belongs to the family. But Chishiya would notice each of these lies. His gaze is iary and I dodge him, it feels strange to sit here with him and talk about Light.

But he won our bet, I would expect honesty from him.

"I was in love with him," I reply, looking back to the sea. I feel a slight pull in my chest and at the thought of Light I close my eyes briefly so that no tears form.

"And are you still?"

I see chishiya's dark eyes again and i don't answer at first. He won the bet and therefore a question. He already had it, but it doesn't feel right not to answer it now. My thoughts wander to Light: his radiant eyes, his gentle features and his compassionate smile. How much I missed it and also the tingling feeling That I always had near him.

"No," I conclude, "but that doesn't mean I don't pray every night that he never comes here to Borderland. He wouldn't survive that"

"Huh? You fell in love with someone like that?"

I laugh lightly and Chishiya's facial features become gentler. I relax a little and lie down to look up into the sky. The man next to me stays seated, but smiles a little when he looks at me.

"Back then it wasn't all about deadly games, Chishiya," I laugh slightly and shrug as my side burns again.

"How was he?"

"An idiot," I laugh and he looks at me confused. When he looks, he realizes how different he is from Light. The two are like day and night. Light liked to surround himself with his friends, cracking bad jokes and laughing a lot. He was always in a good mood and the most important thing for him was his family. He always tried to look taff, but he couldn't watch people bullying someone.

Chishiya looks at me as if he doesn't understand my statement and I think about what this might be.

"You've never been..."

In love. His gaze becomes cool again and he just shakes his head in the deny. It kind of suits Chishiya, but I thought there might have been someone before the Borderland. He seems to have got his answers, so I expect him to get up and go. But he surprises me again and doesn't move from the spot.

"That with your cheekbone, was that Rhaidon?" he suddenly frowns sternly.

"No, the guy he worked with"

"He didn't come back to the beach with you," he says.

"He didn't listen to me and died"

"Good"

"Just say you're worried," I smile at him and straighten me up again. I sit down in the tailor's seat and watch Chishiya raise his eyebrows and grin.

"The way you looked after your last game," he replies, and I must agree with him.

"I still have nightmares about it," I openly admit, and although I know he probably can't comprehend it, he nods, "Yesterday I dreamed that I was killed again and again and every time I woke up in my bed. The distances were getting shorter and shorter and when I really woke up I couldn't tell if it was real or not.

"You survived, only that counts. And to be honest, I'm happy about it.

When I look at him, I notice that he looks stubbornly straight. I can't help but smile, he couldn't have said anything better than that. Even if he struggles with it.

"I can also suffer you quite well Chishiya," I say with a laugh and slightly push him to the side with my shoulder.