Alice in Borderland

Chapter 48 - Chishiya's words

I don't think he can blame it.

These words keep circling around in my head. All lunchtime I lay in my bed thinking about what those words might mean. Chishiya incorporated these words into the sentence as if they had no weighting. But if it were, why did he say it anyway?

And as soon as I try to finish with the topic and think of something else, a new question arises for me. Why am I so obsessed with finding out what Chishiya meant by this?

I think it's good, as it is now between us. Our little bets, the conversations on the roof and I now think I can say that we trust each other. I enjoy swearing around with him or waking up next to him. Besides, I can't imagine that Chishiya is someone who wants more. He's not exactly the type of man who buys flowers, holds hands or allows too many feelings. But maybe that's exactly what I don't want. After all, Chishiya would not be himself if these things applied to him.

"Sayuuri?"

Astonished, I look up to Kuina, who only looks at me smiling. I must have been quite distracted because I didn't see her entering the room. My gaze glides to the clock and I notice that I have been sitting in the club room for almost two hours and hanging in my mind. She sits down at the bar and raises her eyebrows when she sees the glasses in front of me.

"How many drinks have you had?"

"Its my Fifth"

Lie, my twelfth drink.

"I didn't see you at breakfast or lunch"

As if on the keyword, my stomach starts to growl and we both have to laugh. It's good to talk to her and not keep thinking about Chishiya's words all the time. Hopefully she doesn't ask me why I was so absent.

"I look right in the kitchen and make myself a little bite to eat," I finally answer, hopping off my chair. I walk behind the bar and start rinsing my glasses while I look for a new drink at the same time. On a shelf above me, I discover an interesting-looking bottle of scotch and reach for it unthinkingly. At the moment a stinging pain passes through me and I drop the old bottle, it breaks into a thousand small pieces on the floor.

I lean on the counter for a moment to hide the pain. As soon as the pulling flattens, I bend over and take a hand sweep to sweep up the glass. A shard drills into my forearm and I curse quietly. My body isn't already battered enough. I put the hand broom back in place and get up from the ground. At the bar, two faces look at me in amazement, turning only to Kuina.

"Apologies"

The other person runs to me behind the counter as I pull the shard out of my arm and pushes me a little to the side.

"Sit down, I'll give you a drink," niragi says, and although his tone seems annoyed, he just grins at me. I think about a biting comment, but I give myself a beat and sit next to Kuina on one of the bar stools without any rebuttals. It seems a little tense, which I probably would be if I didn't curse myself. I take a serving and catch the running blood with it. I look at Kuina, who silently points her eyes at the man behind the bar. I understand that she is asking me if I can get along alone. I try to make a smile and just nod off.

 She looks at Niragi for another moment and turns restlessly at her straw before getting up and leaving the room. I, on the other hand, pay close attention to what Niragi mixes together, so that no unpleasant surprises await me. At the end of the day, he hands me one of the glasses and leans over the counter.

"No eye-twisting, nothing at all?" he says only provocatively, and I just shrug my shoulders and drink a sip.

"Not so bad"

I drink the glass in one go because I don't want to be here with Niragi any longer than necessary. So far, he has not managed to make a stupid remark, and I will leave it at that.

 "Thank you," I say goodbye, as I don't want to be rude and get up from the chair. I sway for a second, but I catch myself and decide to go to the kitchen. I haven't eaten anything for about twenty-four hours and so slowly my body notices that. In the kitchen I look around a little bit. Since there doesn't seem to be much going on, I drive one of the refrigerators and think about what I want.

"Do you need help?"

out the food before turning to Katsu and smiling kindly. As soon as our eyes meet, I have to think again of Chishiya's remark and the words that followed.

"I just wanted to eat something"

"Should I make you a sandwich?"

I think for a moment, but I just nod and sit on one of the work surfaces. I watch the man closely to find out if Chishiya is right or not. I just can't imagine it and I wonder what Chishiya's is. I don't think he would make an unfounded suspicion. But his words yesterday just got me off the rails. Every time I think about it, I feel like I'm shaking my head, and yet I want answers.

"Where were you employed as a chef?"

"In the Military"

I look at him astonished and curious. If he worked in the military as a cook, aguni should have wanted to recruit him long ago, right?

"Why aren't you in the military squad?" I quip.

'I don't exactly share their beliefs. I said I had enough to do in the kitchen and the hatmaker seemed to be content with it."

Not a bad answer, you have to leave it to him. He was in the military, but he's not as brain-burned as most here. He halves the sandwich and hands me the plate. I immediately take one of the halves and bite greedily into it, since I've only noticed how hungry I was.

"That's delicious, what's on it?" I say with a full mouth and he just laughs.

"Tomato, cucumber, salad and salmon cream," he says, and I continue to eat enthusiastically. Katsu dries his hands with a kitchen towel and leans across from me to the kitchen island. I don't know why, but somehow I have to think about my second bet with Chishiya when we were both in the kitchen and I cooked for Kuina and the other Thai curry. He said he learned of The relationship between Izumi and Yuudai when the two looked each other in the eye for a second too long. Just before the others showed up in the kitchen, he asked me if I would enter into a relationship in Borderland. And while I'm sitting in the same place a few weeks after that conversation, I'm thinking about whether I've changed my mind.