Alice in Borderland

Chapter 58 - Despair

The next day I spent like any normal day at the beach. I played cards with Kuina, spent time with Izumi at the pool area or won against Yuudai in table soccer. The after-effects of the antidote have worn off and neither do my veins stand out black and red from my skin, nor am I as energetic as I was yesterday.

Despite this, I'm ready in the entrance hall on time, ignoring the hatter's motivational speech. None of my friends are playing today, as my 3 of Diamonds card was the lowest difficulty level. My guess is that Izumi should be with Yuudai and Kuina is in the restaurant with Satoru playing cards. The only one I can spot is Chishiya, who has taken his place by the leadership rule in the gallery. He is standing bored next to Ann and I can see from here how the number two is eyeing him critically. As soon as the number two looks at the hatter for a moment, Chishiya's gaze goes to me and our eyes meet. It's no coincidence that he looks to me at the exact moment he's unobserved. Without even turning around, he somehow gets that number two is distracted right now. At the thought, I just shake my head with a laugh and after a quick glance at number two, I try to hold back a cheeky grin.

Before the crowds rush outside, I exchange one last glance with Chishiya. I give him a quick nod, not even waiting for his reaction. I turn and stroll outside to the waiting cars.

I don't recognize anyone in the car assigned to me, there being only three of us. A relatively small group compared to my last few games. We drive down a long road along the sea and I get a bad feeling. The flat asphalt calms me down, but I always have a stern look at the sea.

After ten more minutes of driving, my fears come true and we stop in a bay. In the middle of the sand I recognize a white, shining advertisement with the words 'game'. The others get out of the car but I hesitate for a moment. My heartbeat accelerates its speed to double and my hands twitch uncontrollably.

I'm the last to arrive at the game site this time, and I play my black rubber ball more nervously than usual. There are about ten of us, but standing so close to the beach does not calm my pulse.

The game begins. Number of participants: 9. Difficulty: 6 of spades. Game: Shallows. Rules: No firearms are allowed. You must swim to the buoy and back within the next two hours. Good luck.

I look suspiciously at the buoy in the middle of the sea and can't help thinking of the last time I was in the ocean with Kuina and Izumi. My heart pulses crazily and my muscles disobey me for a moment. I've always had problems with the ocean, or rather fear. The time mark begins to tick down and most of them jump into the high waves. I wait another moment, not to get an overview, but because every fiber of my body is telling me not to go into the water.

I spot an inconsistency in the waves and watch it more closely for a second before realizing I waited too long. Swimming in a group is safer than getting an overview first and then following alone. I ignore the cold of the water and swim as if the devil himself was after me. I squeal my eyes tightly together, on the one hand to get the whole thing over with quickly and on the other hand to block out everything around me.

I'm so fast that by now I'm right up there with my fellow participants, and I step it up a notch. I only hear a scream, but when I feel something slippery on my foot I swim so fast that my arms start to burn. Panic takes hold of me and I head for the rock, which juts out in the middle towards the buoy. I can feel a presence right behind me catching up. I should have known. It's ten minutes at most to the buoy, so why was the timing set at two hours.

I reach the rock and swing sideways onto it when something jumps out of the water right behind me and catches me on the side. I scream like a banshee and crawl to the center of the rock. The shark swims around the rock two more times but when it realizes there is no point it sights its new prey. I pull the torn shirt up a little and realize that he has only grazed me. It is a flesh wound and not fatal in my estimation.

I lie on the iron rock and the cold water washes over me again and again. The salt water burns like true hell on my fresh wound and I look around with my face contorted in pain. Four of the nine participants are left. Each has rescued himself on a rock like mine, but most look unharmed. One dares to jump into the water when the shark seems far away. But he didn't time it right, and all I can see is him being pulled into the depths. I turn on my side and press my face to the rocky stone.

I always thought my greatest fears would be used against me in a game of hearts, but never did I think it would be a game of spades that would take everything from me. Shaking and frightened, I lie still, and with each new wave of salt water, my wound seems to boil. I squint my eyes and my tears mix with the seawater. And despite one of my worst fears coming true, I have only one thought: I just want to go to Chishiya. I don't care if he looks at me indifferently or snobbishly, if he grins at me triumphantly or insidiously. I just want to lie in his arm and feel his steady breath on my neck. With the tugging in my chest, I cry out of desperation lying on the lonely rock. I don't care what the other participants think of me, but I can't take it anymore. My fear takes me completely and I pull my knees closer to me.

My body lies lifeless, but my mind wants to fight. I simply cannot give up in a game, that goes against my nature. And giving up in Borderland means death. My hand goes to the rubber ball in my pocket and I try to breathe more calmly. I stow my ball safely so it won't get lost and stand up. With one hand, I squeeze my wound and look around. The others have also stayed on the rocks to safety and I recognize the shark fin only with great luck in the dark. The animal seems to swim roughly the same paths, which means I have to find the point where it is farthest away from me.

Once it reaches just that point, I jump into the water and scramble to the buoy in my best time. I arrive just barely unscathed and climb onto the scrap metal. I don't seem to be the only one with this idea and quickly run to the other person in the water to pull her onto the buoy. Gratefully, she grabs my arms and I pull with all my might, but the shark is faster. It seems to have caught her by the legs and yanks the woman in two. The woman's arms tangle in my arms and I try to shake her off before the shark returns. In any case, she would be dead, I can no longer help her.

I wait and get a plan ready. I would never make it to the beach in one piece, which is why I should head back to my rock. I just have to wait until the shark swims its route again. My ears feel numb and I don't hear much anymore. I swim faster than ever before and somehow I manage to get to the beach. As soon as the sand tickles my feet, I collapse and lie motionless in the sand.