Alice in Borderland

Chapter 78 - Submerged

Rule number one: He doesn't ask questions if I don't ask them. Niragi finds it pretty easy to ignore me, and since he's not interested in anyone anyway, this point was quickly settled. Nevertheless, I feel his critical look on my swollen and blue cheekbones from time to time when I go to the bathroom. He keeps to the agreement, but that doesn't stop him from dropping a stupid line every now and then. But I didn't really expect anything else from him.

Rule number two: No advances, no groping, no lying down in bed with me, no hassling, no stretching when I'm in the shower, no disgusting licking of the lips, no expectation of a sexual quid pro quo. In summary, that means hands off for him!

Rule number three: Nobody must know that I am here. This rule was already almost as important to him as it was to me. I didn't want to see any of my friends, after all, that's why I'm here. And Niragi didn't want others to know that he let a female stay with him without having sex with her. The fact that he wants to keep quiet about the only nice thing about him is sadly to my credit. But he added an exception to this rule. We agreed that if Aguni asks him about it, he can tell him where I am. But only to him. Since his loyalty is only to his boss and not to the Hatter as well, it was no problem for him or me. Anyway, it's not going to be easy for anyone to get anything out of this military chump.

Rule number four, the last rule: He can't shoot me if I'm grumpy or make biting comments. Niragi was only persuaded to do this because he came up with a code word that he always says when he would have shot me otherwise. His self-chosen 'saveword' is boner, what a surprise.

In the meantime, exactly three days have passed since I have been lying almost motionless in bed, staring holes into the wall. The only reason for me to get up is to go to the bathroom. To be honest, I have neither the desire nor the strength to do more. I'm barely physically able to fill up my water glass at the faucet in the sink and the fact that I haven't eaten in days doesn't help either.

It's been three days, but no matter how much time passes I just don't feel better. Or normal. My eyes are swollen and feel tired, my lips are dried out and cracked. I have my hair tied up in a messy braid so it's not constantly hanging in my face. By just lying in bed all day, I can't get any rest or even a little sleep.

And again and again I have only one thought: How could I be so stupid? How could I be so stupid to fall in love? I've found out before that it could either be the best or the worst thing that could happen to me here in Borderland. Apparently, I got my answer to that. I really thought that it would mean anything to Chishiya that I meant something to him. Laughs.

It's not just the kiss, maybe I wouldn't have overreacted and confronted Chishiya. But what would he have said? After all, he kissed her too and I didn't just imagine that. But the fact of how crazy the whole day was and all the emotional chaos. It's funny how the most beautiful morning could take such a turn. I can't face anyone and I don't want to. Izumi would just try to cheer me up, even though she doesn't know what's going on. She would put her foot in every little mouth and that would put salt in the wounds. Yuudai would be totally overwhelmed and would try to distract me by playing foosball, but would not get a word out in embarrassing silence. Ann might guess why I feel that way, but I don't think she would understand. She doesn't have to, after all, it was my own fault for thawing out and allowing feelings. And Kuina? I would just feel uncomfortable talking to her about it, because she knows Chishiya well enough. I wonder if she knew there was something going on between them. Assuming she did, now it makes sense why she quickly pulled me away from Tayuya in the entryway.

Tayuya. I can already see her smug grin in my mind's eye, satisfied that she's getting everything she wants.

And then there's the one about my uncle. The way he chose his words like he knew Chishiya wouldn't mean it. Takeo has never gotten physical with me before, so I wonder if it's the Borderland or my family that's kept him away.