Alice in Borderland

Chapter 35 - Irish Death Guard

I've been sitting on the roof for at least an hour. I have only one bottle of whisky and a clean glass. My gaze is directed at the sea and individual tears make their way. The burning in my neck and the pleasant feeling in my chest do not diminish the pain in the most distant way. I give myself a new glass and when I hear the door to the roof, I drink a big sip.

As always, he sits next to me and looks at the sea. His presence alone brings more tears to my eyes and I try to pull myself together.

"You knew," he says, and I see a notable undertone.

"The Norikita dies? Yes," I just reply and take another sip. Why else did I take the afternoon off to talk to her and spend time. I already knew it when I saw her here for the first time in the conference hall. Trembling, I turn off my glass and try to breathe through. It's one thing when people die in games that you only know for a fraction of a second. But losing someone you knew before borderland is a very different one.

I look at Chishiya and as soon as our eyes meet, I turn him away. I get up and run around restless, my legs just don't obey me. Even the man with the white vest gets up, but I don't pay attention to his facial features.

"She doesn't deserve to come here," I say, swipeing my hair backwards. She was too good a soul for this place and the games. She volunteered in a retirement home and put a smile on everyone's face. She should never get to such a place! I don't know if I'd rather scream or bang on something, but I'm doing the only thing that feels right for me. I embrace Chishiya and my hands cramp in his vest. Even if the hug is the last thing he wants. I just need it now. I breathe in the scent of his shampoo and I don't care if it pushes me away now. But, surprisingly, he is doing the opposite. After a while he stands still, he puts his hands around me and pulls me a little closer to him.

"I knew she was going to die today. I should have gone along," I say, just clammy further in the vest. But I don't even know what kind of game it was. If I had gone along and it would have been a heart break ... She so wished to return to the normal world. I hope she is now in the place where she feels comfortable. He does not reply, but I do not expect an answer. My words are similar to those who would not put it any other way.

Slowly I get off him and almost sack. He sits down next to me and sits down on the whisky.

"She always wanted an Irish death guard. She didn't want people to mourn, but rather to celebrate their lives."

'That doesn't sound bad. Maybe I should have talked to her at least once," he laughs slightly and I want to take another sip, but he takes the glass away from me, "I thought she wanted an Irish death guard, at least two people are required to do so."

He takes a sip from my glass and I can't help but smile at him gratefully. How can he sometimes be so unapproachable and compassionate in the other moment, at least in his own way.

"Would she approve of me being here?" he asks, and I hear a slightly uncertain tone.

"She would love you," I say, referring to what she last told me. Maybe she was right, I like Chishiya. But how much? This time, smiling, I take the glass out of his hand and take a sip. Norikita would really love him, because for her, what I feel always counted. I'm back in view of the sea, but I still feel like I'm hugging Chishiya.

"She knew it, too," I say, looking the man next to me directly in the eye, "She told Niragi to get a record."

"Which one?"

"My favorite song," I reply, and he looks at me curiously, "I like me better"

"I don't know," he says. I grab his wrist and pull him with me. As I knew Norikita, it wasn't just commissioned today. When I see the record in front of my room, I drag the astonished Chishiya into my room and put the record on. It's one of my favorite songs, she knew that. As soon as I hear the melody, tears rise into my eyes, but I try to hide it from Chishiya. I sit on my bed and try to control myself. Norikita, your last song is my favorite song. Several tears rise back into my eyes, she guessed it. She is the only one who could associate this song with me.

First I want to tell Chishiya something, but I fall silent. He might not understand it, but the song jumps to the beginning. I don't know, but I think I can see how his traits become gentler.