Trying to live

Chapter 33

Days passed like the wind and suddenly it was Friday. 

Yes, the day were my punishments by Principal Richardson would become reality.

"Don't forget to stop by the hospital," Mrs. Avilla reminded me.

Since my car broke down, Mrs. Avilla  dropped me off to school every morning. It was already like a ritual.

 I stopped with whatever I was doing for a second. 

Today was also the day I finally decided to visit my mother in the hospital. I convinced myself after everything she did to me, I didn't need to be like her and should not let her distaste for me win over me and become like her. After all, there was a time she did love me and even if that part vanished in her heart, it didn't in my heart. 

"I won't," I said.

"Will you find a ride?"

I nodded. My plan was to call an Uber and drive there, not that I would tell Mrs. Avilla but I had no other option. It was a good plan but sadly I couldn't afford to do that every time.

My car needed two weeks to get repaired, if not more. So that left me without a vehicle and I didn't have any other car to use. I wasn't really the best driver and Scott got his own car that he used everyday and Mom's got damaged. We had a fourth car but it wasn't automatic. 

"Here we are," Mrs. Avilla declared and cut the engine off. 

"Thank you," I said sincerely. She was a real help and she took care of me.

Mrs. Avilla looked me in the eyes and then to my surprise she took me in her arms. She kissed me on the top of my head.

I closed my eyes. How long was it that I got a hug like that? A hug that was so similar to my Mom's. How much did I yearn for my mother to give me that kind of care and affection that Mrs. Avilla was giving me? 

I never thought that Mrs. Avilla and I would have this kind of relationship back - the one that we had when I was still with Henry. After all, she thought I broke her son's heart and maybe I did but not more than he broke my heart. 

And the one day, I saw how you looked at them not with ate, not with rage just pain and something else that broke my heart. I followed you that day, followed you to the lake. You cried, I remembered the words she spoke to me few weeks ago. 

Also she found the note under Henry's pillow, so she must have an idea of what happened at the Summer party before junior year started. Not that anyone knew what happened except Wyatt, Henry and me at that party. All the other classmates including my brother, Juliette, Priya, Jake, Cam, Leah, Franny and even Rose heard the slightly different version when my break up became a spectacle in front of everyone. Well, the real truth, the real reason was a secret between Wyatt and me that no one would probably be told because I was done with giving justifications when the person I trusted the most couldn't trust me. 

Although Henry had the right to mistrust me because I wasn't always telling the truth. He knew something was up between my mom and me but I never told him. I just couldn't and I knew that it hurt him that I wasn't trusting him but he didn't poke about it much because he always kept everything inside.

Henry was the key to my happiness. He was my happiness but at the same time he was also the person of my sadness and heartbreak. No wonder they say, the people you love the most will hurt you the most. 

Henry was that person for me. 

I released myself from the hug and got out of the car. I had to go to the counselor's office that was why I was so early in school. Then I had classes, a four hours gap where I would go to the hospital and afterwards F.T.A class.