Trying to live

Chapter 34

I looked at the door still in thoughts of what the freshman said. But it wouldn't really help me to pay attention to whatever happened a few minutes ago. The thoughts would be in the back of head but I had to focus on the obstacle that was in front of me - the school counselor. 

When Principal Richardson announced that I had to visit the school counselor again I got to know that the school had a new counselor but I didn't know who. The last counselor was a pain in the ass and I was sure she thought that about me too since our sessions were filled with silence. 

It was very awkward. 

The first six months of junior year were unbearable for not just me but everyone who was involved with me. I was horrible to everyone not that I was always talking but as they said actions speak louder than words - my actions did.  

As far as I remember I was always drunk, I talked back and didn't always use good words, I was late to my classes and practice, my grades flunked. I was basically the mean girl, even though no one really talked to me thanks to Henry's rule. After everyone found out that I slept with Wyatt I had quite a bad reputation and I used that for my advantage and added fuel to the fire wherever I could. 

So, when Principal Richardson found out about my bad behavior, the drinking and the horrible thing I tried she had enough and arranged sessions with the school counselor. They didn't really help. I also had a private counselor I had to go to after what I did but he was also not satisfied with our sessions. I never said anything and my counselors found it very disturbing and problematic because they knew something was up but then the last school counselor left and I told Mom that I didn't need a private counselor anymore since graduation was the most important thing for me and I was already trying to be normal again for the sake of leaving this town.

For once, my mother listened to me and cancelled the sessions. Obviously, she had her own reasons to cancel it. One of them must have been that she was embarrassed to have one of her kind go to a therapist. Well, she and Dad went to a couple therapy but that was different than your own child having a severe alcohol problem. Oh, and mind that that my alcohol addiction reached its highest peak after I came back from New Haven, a facility for troubled teenagers when I wasn't one before that. 

Realizing that I was looking like a weirdo who was just standing in front a closed door and venting out her anger in her head, I decided to knock and open the door.

As I closed the door I took in the room. The walls were white and decorated with paintings of flowers. Next to the door on the right were two grey sitting couches with a small white round table between them. On the left was a window and under the window was a line of various plants in different sizes of plant pots and in the middle of the room was long desk. In front of the desk were two chairs whilst behind it was a big leather chair and another window.

The desk was kept very neat with two frames on either side with pictures I couldn't see as well as the person who was sitting on the leather chair and looking outside the window.

"Hi," I started when the counselor turned around and said at the same time, "You must be Ms. Vermont."

"You."

"You?"

The counselor's you had a distinct tone of accusation like I had done her wrong or killed her cat. My you was more of a question which initiated that I couldn't believe that this person was my new counselor.

It was none other than Ms. Smith! Right that Ms. Smith, who had the terrible hair though today she had her afro and she looked very pretty. Oh, and that Ms. Smith, whom I told that my name was Rebecca Fernanda Olivia Julia Julio Estella Ramirez Rodriguez and the one who told me she was Will Smith's sister though I was sure that was just made up. And the one who had this weird punishment rule where when you got 100 penalty points, she'd send you to the principal and get you punished.