Trying to live

Chapter 8

Hey,

a new chapter in a new week, yaaay! Also, I just want to put out, I'm aware of my mistakes but I'll edit once the story is complete :). The chapter is a little longer than the previous chapters but you have more to read. I hope I can publish a new chapter next week and I wanted to tell you that Em's story will continue in two other books and I hope I can share the whole story with you. 

Anyway, thanks for all the reads, votes and for putting my story in your reading list - means a lot to me. 

Love y'all!

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I didn't look up to see Cam Avilla but I knew it was him. I would always recognize his voice like everyone else's voice. You would always recognize the people, you grew up with, you knew until everything fell apart. 

"Thanks," I rasped out and tried to free my hand. "You know, you can let go of my hand."

I didn't know why I said that jokingly when I didn't mean it like that. I felt numb because of one word. It wasn't really numb, it was like a heavy stone was sitting on your heart and you can't breathe properly because every breath felt like it was too short. How could one word make you feel so miserable and turn your world upside down?

"Do you really want me to let go of you?" Cam asked suddenly. 

I had to look up and tears I tried to hold down threatened to come out. Not because he asked me so softly...no, it was because his eyes didn't hold anything but softness in them. And somewhere I believed that there was something else behind his words - something I couldn't understand. Anyway, I was used to all the nothingness and coldness, but I never imagined that Cam would look at me like that. Maybe because I've hurt him like everyone else, who was a part of my life. Or because he'd hurt me too.

"No," I whispered and calmed myself down by taking a deep breath. I wouldn't cry in front of him or anyone else. I won't cry in public anymore. Well as long as I could hold my tears down, because you couldn't stop the tears once they came out. 

He guided me downstairs, my hand in his hand and I didn't dare to look back. I think I even heard Scott calling my name but in a daze we were downstairs. Cam walked us to the counter, where he suddenly turned us, so that I was sandwiched between him and the counter. I didn't remember him being that nice. 

Until he opened his mouth. "Now, you owe me a favor."

I stared at him. His dark brown eyes looked back. Yeah, he had average brown eyes like me. But Cam was just like his cousin - far too good looking for this world. The only difference between them was that Cam had dirty blonde hair and was tanned but that would eventually go away. Also he put his colored contacts out, letting his dark brown eyes shine. He used to wear them at school like today. 

Cam said that this was a fashion trend back in South Korea. Oh, I forgot to mention that he was half Korean. His dad was a big star back there, and he had fans overall in the world while his mom was a big model. Both of his parents moved a lot and never stayed at one place, so Henry's mom convinced Cam's mom that it would be best for Cam if she would raise him and he wouldn't be alone. 

Cam considered Henry as his brother and Mrs. Avilla as his mother, that was why he sometimes called her mom. Mrs. Avilla was very kind and she loved Cam as if he was her son, she also raised him as her son. Since Cam was half Korean, his first name and his last name was Korean but he used his second name as his first name and his mother's maiden name. Why? Well, I didn't know.

"W- What?" I sputtered out.

Cam held a finger against his jaw. "What what? You owe me a favor," he said each word slowly as if I was three years old.