Trying to live

Chapter 6

Whats up? 

I'm sorry for updating so late but lots of things are happening in my life right now and I really wanted to focus on them. I must say I've lost some motivation to write my story on Wattpad but then I thought that I'm actually doing it for fun and because it makes me happy. I think I always wanted my story to be special and maybe I wanted more reads, votes and so on but I realized that it wasn't what I wanted. 

These things were just in my mind because I saw authors who had them. Anyway, I realized that writing makes me happy and sharing it is just a part. If I feel down or so I do write a lot, everything that's on my mind. I write down ideas, characters, story lines - everything. And in the end, the stories like this should be special for me and it is like every other story I started, even if I have grammar mistakes and so on. Everyone makes mistakes. 

Whoever feels like this should know that they are special, their stories are special, their voices are special, their words are special. Everything about a good person is precious. Every human being is precious. *turned to a philosopher haha*

Tell me some stories.....

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Grams and I talked a little bit before she went to the hospital with Rhonda. I told her that I had to live Mrs. Avilla and she said that I should give it a chance. You know, I love Grams with my heart but sometimes I think she has the dumbest answers to my problems.

Oh my gosh! What was I thinking? How could I say something like that? I mentally slapped some senses in me - I would never think about my Grams like that again.

I didn't tell her about Scott - partly because I had that small flicker of doubt that it was my fault and partly because I didn't want her to worry.

She already had mom to worry about. 

I clocked in and walked to Rho's office, where we had our meetings. Caesar and Mac attended the front while Dean and I had our meeting with Jenna. Dean always started his shift after his morning classes and then he's the last one to go except if he has afternoon classes too. But he and I always have our meetings together because Jenna doesn't want to repeat herself. 

And when you talk about a clown (I won't say devil because he's my relative) he stands right next to you. Or so goes the saying. God, I'm really bad at sayings.

"You know what I really dislike?" Dean asked me, leaning against the wall.

I walked straight to the chair and sat down. I always get restless when I stand too much or sit too uncomfortably. 

I raised my eyebrows, intending him to tell me what he means.

He scoffed. "You didn't have a job interview, did you?"

I knew it was a rhetorical question, because Dean already knew the answer. Dean was sulking and when he sulked he tended to roll up old subjects. 

I sighed. "Dean, I'm not going to have the same old discus -"

" Do you know what a CV is? You don't know, right?" Dean interrupted me. 

I sighed again. When he found out that Rhonda employed me in Royals without a job interview or a job application, he didn't talk to me for two weeks. It was horrible for me. I liked him and I felt so lonely without him, but when I was with him I could joke around, pretend I was okay. 

One day when I had enough I dragged him to the back room, where the lockers with our stuff were and told him I didn't have an interview, I didn't write a job application, that I needed a job quickly because I had problems at home.