Trying to live

Chapter 3 Part I

Hello, my wattpaddies!

I hope you enjoyed the first chapters. Enjoy, read, vote and comment!

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Summer before junior year

Dear Diary,

I quite frankly enjoy writing in you. Uh, that sounds like some old lady said that. Anyway, I'm sitting in sweatpants and a shirt on my bed. Can you believe that? Me, the Reigning Queen of Lakewood Prep wearing sweatpants the whole freaking week? Of course, I wear sweatpants at home, but please I wear designer ones that even common people can afford - Nike, Adidas and whatever other brand.

But the ones I'm wearing right now are nowhere near that. Look, I'm not a shitty brag, though I sound like one but if I can afford designer clothes, then I'm going to get 'em. I'm not a materialistic idiot, whose outta here to have everything and just cares about things. But just like I said, if I can afford them, I get them. And I'm not taking or buying everything, but I do take everything my dad gets me.

That's the least he can do for me - shower me with expensive gifts - so that he can erase his guilt of leaving me alone and living with his new family. At least, his new wife has fashion sense. 

Anyway, I actually wanted to write that I won't be able to write everyday: 1) because I have to participate at those round tables here, although I don't say anything except my first name and 2) because I'm either too lazy or my hand hurts from all the writing or I just don't feel like it.

Bye!

The beginning of junior year

I'm still writing. I thought that I would stop writing after all what happened, but I think this... this is what makes it okay for me - to say I'm okay, I'm fine and whatever happened, happened. Don't worry, I'm not getting emotional.

I wrote something about designer clothes and so on and on, but now I can say that I'm earning my own money. I'm fine, at least money - wise. I have a job at a cafe and even if I have to work and have to see my classmates everyday (because they are too dumb to go anywhere else), I like the feeling of being able to do something everyone does. 

I know  I'm rich, I don't have to work and I get a monthly allowance from my mom,  but earning money by myself feels like I'm a step closer to adulthood. Of course, I'm still accepting the gifts from my dad. At least, he's trying to get in my good shoes by buying me materialistic things. I know it's not the same but I can pretend that this is his way to say he loves me.

Ugh, I'm at the point where I'm going to be emotional. I think I'll stop writing.

Bye!

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As I walked towards the library I decided to make a stop at my locker. Since the library was in the opposite direction than my locker, I had to turn around, walking back the way I came. While I was walking like a koala, extremely slow, I realized that someone was coming from the opposite direction. 

"Scotland Yard!" I called out, smirking. I waved and ran towards him.

I stopped exactly in front of him. We were so different - whereas I had the dark brown hair and brown eyes of my dad, he had the grey eyes and the light brown hair of mom. We were siblings, but we didn't even look alike, but that didn't mean we didn't have something in common. I was really grateful to have him. Even if my mother and I hadn't any relationship, I had him as my family. My brother was a very sweet and caring person, he always cared for me. I still loved him, even if he let me down for his friends.