Trying to live

Chapter 2

Hey wattpaddies!

New chapter for y'all

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Summer before Junior year

Dear Diary,

I'm so bored! Hell, there's nothing to do here. Even if I wanted to get friends here, I didn't need them. I have plenty of friends at school. Could be because I'm the Reigning Queen. The Queen of Lakewood Prep with all the important titles- Cheerleader Captain, newspaper editor, the teacher's favorite and the most popular girl.

Yes, I'm the popular girl, but not the mean girl like in the movies. I'm the sweet popular girl that everyone liked. And I cared about my appearance, I still do. So, of course I didn't tell anyone that I'm here. I mean, my mom wouldn't even let me.

God, I miss my friends a lot. But more than that, I miss my boyfriend, who is my best friend too.

I'm just counting the days until I'm back home.

Bye!

Beginning of junior year

Dear Diary,

Well, at least I'm still writing that cheesy line. I am back but I feel like a stranger. I no longer have the title of the popular girl. Someone took that title from me. And with someone I mean a girl I knew my entire life. I no longer feel like a Queen – I feel like a nobody whose friends don't care about her. 

Of course, the alcohol doesn't let me think straightly.

And still the only thing the alcohol can't influence is that I feel like a stranger in the arms of my boyfriend.

I want to cry, but I learned that crying gets you nowhere.

Bye.

********

Principal Richardson's office didn't change since my last visit, which was last week. The glass window behind her desk, which showed the sports field, was always my favorite thing about her office.

I put my bag down and sat down, drawing my knees to my chest, while Principal Richardson was occupied with the phone. I looked out the window.

Principal Richardson was fifty years old, but still passed as thirty-year-old woman. I liked her or more her office. Her office was my third home after my home and the mansion opposite us. Actually, I shouldn't think about my home and the mansion opposite us as my 'home' anymore.

I shook my head slightly, realizing that I was staring at the lacrosse players, who had practice right now. As my eyes moved farther, they fixated themselves on a guy.

He was outshining everyone, even if he didn't play anymore, as he was laughing and saying something to his former teammates. His black unruly curly hair looked more disheveled than the last time I saw him, and the sun was reflected in his emerald green eyes. I always thought that he looked like a character out of a book with his fair skin, his intense green eyes and his curly black hair.

As if he could feel that someone was watching him, he turned his head exactly in my direction.

Let it be his magic trick, but he always knew when I watched him, which is truly unsettling because that meant I could never watch him secretly.

Don't get the wrong idea. I don't care now. I didn't need to sneak secretly glances at him but I loved doing that in the past.

His gaze found me. We were looking at each other, my heart feeling something I couldn't describe. It's a feeling that turned my hands clammy, my feet cold and my heart's beating turned unrhythmically.