Trying to live

Chapter 9 Part II

Another chapter to read, vote and comment but most of all read!

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And then her expression changed to one I knew very well. She was ashamed, ashamed that she didn't see it coming, didn't see how her son changed. I sighed and took one of here hands so that she would lose the hard grip in which she had her hands that were already white. "And that was the right thing to do, Mrs. Avilla. That wasn't the reason why we broke up." I said and I wasn't lying entirely. It was just one of the reasons.

She clasped my hand in hers, holding it so tight. "Suddenly they were together and I tried to talk to Henry. I was sure that he was hurt but he didn't show it. You know how he is, he never shows what's inside his head or heart, never shows how things can hurt him too." I know, I thought. 

"And then one day, I saw how you looked at them - not with hate, not with rage just pain and something else that broke my heart. I followed you that day, followed you to the lake. You cried."

"I did," I whispered, remembering the day even if I never wanted to remind myself about it.

I was sad and had a bad day, already starting with my mom. Seeing Juliette and Henry triggered something in me and I drove off to the lake. I cried, cried my heart out, knowing that no one was here to say soothing words to me. Knowing that I was alone, the tears came out and out until I felt two arms embracing me, holding me tight. I thought it was ...it wasn't and I should have known better but was happy that Mrs. Avilla held me and it made me cry harder.

I know that Mrs. Avilla thought about it too when she smiled at me sadly. "I knew why, so I barged into Henry's room and found it empty, but found something else tucked under his pillow." She gave me a meaningful look. "After that I reached out to you, called you, tried to talk to you but you never responded."

"I'm sorry," I choked out after remembering what she had possibly found. Mrs. Avilla couldn't mean what I think she meant? No. She couldn't, not when I thought Henry never got it. 

She laughed softly. "Well, at least you're that. As compensation I want you to answer all my calls, even the unnecessary ones and talk to me whenever I want. We have so much to catch up, understood?"

I laughed too and lied my other hand on top of hers. "Fine, but don't think I will take your call while I'm on the toilet."

She grimaced. "Eww, who does that?"

"A lot of people." I shuddered. How disgusting was that? I mean the toilet bacterias will be on your own phone and every time you pick up a call, toilet bacterias will get in your ears. 

After that Mrs. Avilla ordered a coffee and told me that I should meet Alika and Chen again. I know Alika, she was five years old the last time I saw her and she would turn six soon and Chen was a small toddler, still is because he would turn two. They both were adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Avilla but it didn't matter that they looked different - that Alika was North African and Chen was Chinese - what mattered was that the Avilla's considered them as their own blood. I remember how proud Henry was feeling when his parents announced they would adopt Chen after Alika and Alika she was out of her mind, screaming that she would get a baby brother. 

I really wanted to see them, see their small faces and the innocence and a part of me hoped that Alika would recognize me. Chen, well he was a toddler - he wouldn't know me at all but I hoped I could I spend time with them as long as I would be in the Avilla mansion. 

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I cleaned the last tables of dirty cups and plates and threw the paper coffee cups away. After that   I threw the big trash bag away that was always too heavy for me, for Dean and Caesar extremely funny because of my struggles. Then I walked to the office to get my belongings, drooling over the fact that I had to pack and live at my neighbors mansion. 

"Bye guys," Dean said suddenly and rushed out before I could say anything back.

I sighed and went to Caesar. "He's in a rush," I wondered and got a nod from Caesar, "Anyway, do you need help?"

"I think I can handle putting the key in the lock and turning it around," Caesar said amused.

I gave a short laugh. "Yeah, sorry. Well, see you tomorrow."

"See ya!"

Why couldn't Caesar say that he needed my help? Pretending that he didn't know how to turn the lock. I stomped my feet while I walked to my car. I got in and put my seatbelt on - maybe I should go for a drive, just ...to cool off. Everyone went for a drive when they didn't want to be home. No, I shook my head, I can't find excuses. I needed to get out of my comfort zone and face the odds. 

Well, know I know why I was weird. Everything that leaves my mouth or my mind was weird and I always acted like I was in a movie. I started the engine and drove off in the night.

After a long slow drive filled with useless ideas like driving off to Alaska, changing my name or turning to a nun, I arrived home. I quickly ran to my room and packed my uniforms, clothes (not too many, obviously because I wasn't going to a war and I know I could come back any time I wanted), accessories. Also my make up, school utensils and wash utensils and ta - da I had a full suitcase. Well, make it two. 

I rushed out as quickly as I could with my two suitcases, walking slowly to the Avilla mansion, thee biggest one in town. Obviously, because Andrew van Lakewood's descendants lived there and it was the old mansion of Andrew van Lakewood, renovated over a hundred times. Why was I walking slowly? Well, I almost tripped twice from the stairs. Not to forget my rather embarrassing moment at Royals. 

The watchman nodded at me, as if he knew who I was and let me in. I knew one of the watchmen because his brother worked as a watchman at my home. Next to me, I rolled my suitcases almost deciding to escape the scene and run off. When I reached the front I saw the door ajar. The mansion was very old but like I said Mrs. and Mr. Avilla renovated the whole house to a modern mansion with all the high tech things you need.

And as I stood here the door opened slightly with small creaking noises. I heard stories about the Lakewood ghost but I never believed - well I did when I was a small child. Suddenly, a small hand came forward as the door opened further. Was that a horror movie where I was the dumb, naive protagonist, who asked questions like 'is someone in there?'? 

The final day where I would lose my humanity and turn to a possessed being? Okay, I know I was getting too deep into it but where's the fun, when you couldn't make yourself laugh in such situations. Maybe it wasn't the end of me but it was still creepy. 

One thing was sure today sucked. It already sucked in school, at work and now when I walked up to the front door of my temporary home like someone was trying to make my life a bloody hell. Who? I didn't know but I was going to find out, well if it wasn't some supernatural being or someone I couldn't see because of all the holiness and my being - well I was pretty sure that I was found unworthy by Heaven and maybe Hell too. 

Or I was getting too deep into it again. Anyway, life sucked and my life was the definition of that as you could see as a one - handed monster crawled towards me.