I still see your face when I go to sleep I'll always love you, will you always love me? I hate that all these memories are so persistent It's better to love you from a distance
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Paige
"You really fucked up.. i- i couldn't even tell you as her best friend how you can fix this..." Caitlin sighed at the other end of the call.
I look at myself in the mirror where i barely could recognize me.
who was I?
"Cait.. i don't even know what to say.. Let alone be able to fix it.." I sigh putting my head into my hands, "Everything was so good.. it felt like..."
"Normal?" Caitlin chuckles softly, "Jenna was saying the same thing earlier..."
In one sentence I felt my whole world crash.
"All i gotta tell you man is don't bother her, let her figure herself and the situation out without you being involved.. We know Jenn, she doesn't hold grudges but this one hits home when you're saying what everyone on the media is saying as well..."
"I'm just afraid to lose her Cait..."
"Aren't we all P? Listen there was a time where i pissed Jenna off the the max our freshmen year and she didn't talk to me for —"
"Please don't say months."
"Months.." Caitlin sighed, "But she was immature and a freshmen— she didn't know how to control her own feelings in the moment, but she's mature now, grown, if you mean as much as I think you do to her— she won't completely cut you out."
"But how am i suppose to be a supporting actor in her life when she barely wants me in it."
"You have to love her from a distance P."
I sigh into the phone trying to keep my head on straight without it simply blowing up.
"You can't stress yourself out P.. Focus on you and I'll try my best to talk to her okay? For now though you need to step away, maybe look at things from another angle.." Caitlin stops to think, "support from a distance — protect from a distance. I know i would — Id watch every impulsive move that girl makes if i could to protect her. But you need to let her do this and figure it out on her own time and terms.."
I knew Caitlin was right but part of me fought believing her — part of me also felt like this was a dream as i constantly pinched myself to desperately wake up from this nightmare.
How could I just watch—
"Paige?"
"sorry yeah i'm still here.." I spoke into the phone before putting it on speak to slip my practice jersey on.
"I know it's going to be hard but Jenna means no harm.."
I knew that too— this was all my fault, if i was Jenna i wouldn't even give myself the time of day.
