Nenjamellam kadhal

Chapter -18

                                                                                          Adithya

On the day that Sakthi fell ill, I experienced an overwhelming sense of helplessness. It was my fault; I blamed myself for giving her an energy drink, unaware that she shouldn't consume it. I had hardly seen her all week because of her practical exams. As she left for home in the afternoon after her exams, even on the exam days, I had not seen her in the canteen or on the bus. She had to rush home after her tests, making it impossible to spot her near her labs too.

During the workshop practical examination, I was desperate to keep her nearby after missing her for over a week. To ensure she stayed with me for a longer duration in the workshop, I swapped the easy experiment she selected with a time-consuming and difficult experiment, purposefully thinking that she was capable of doing it again as she mastered it perfectly when she did the same experiment during the class.

However, I didn't know she was already sick. It was a shock when I found her sitting on the floor clutching her head in her hands, and the guilt weighed heavily on me when I learned she'd been unwell since the previous day. I felt even more helpless and responsible for her condition when she vomited after taking the medicine.

At that moment, even though I knew that I had to maintain my distance from her as her lecturer, I yearned to be the one caring for her rather than her friends. I rushed to my department room, where I had stored a canned energy drink, when a senior student, whom I had often seen with Sakthi in the canteen, went to fetch her medicine from her bag. I handed the energy drink to her, hoping it might help after her ordeal.

When the final-year guy arrived back, he snatched the canned drink from her and scolded her for consuming it. I felt annoyed at him and asked, "Energy drinks la enna pa iruku, kudicha onnum agadhu, rombha tired ah iruka adha kudicha konjam energetic a feel panuva nu kuduthen."

I felt even more remorseful and lost after hearing that she had a heart condition and should not consume energy drinks. I knew very little about her compared to her friends, which made me jealous. I knew it was petty of me in that situation.

To my surprise, the external invigilator and I received a call from the principal, requesting that we assist Sakthi with her practical exam and send her home immediately. Fortunately, she had nearly completed her exam, and Sakthivel, one of her friends, handed me another sample to replace her unfinished one. It seemed like he had prepared two samples, anticipating that he might need to swap them with Sakthi's. I just made the sample exchange and sent her home with her friends.

Afterwards, I found it nearly impossible to focus on anything other than her. Ava dha mandaikulla oditey irundha. Seeing her pale and sickly face haunted me, and I was consumed by guilt. She looked like a vulnerable child as she rested on Sakthivel's shoulder. Jealousy and remorse made me snap at everyone I encountered, both in college and at home, and the turmoil within me continued to grow with every minute.

That night, I managed to obtain Sakthivel's phone number and gave him a call. "Hello, is this Sakthivel? It's Adithya, your workshop lecturer."

He replied. "Hello sir, Sakthivel dha , sollunga sir ".

Me : Thambi un friend Sakthi epdi irukanga? odambhu mudiama ponanga, naa vera energy drinks kuduthuten, andha ponnu kudika kudadhunu enaku theriadhu, aparam un senior paiyan dha sonnan about her heart condition, adha epdi irukka nu kekalam nu nenachen, but I could get only your number. Epdi iruka andha ponnu?