Mute » 1D

Chapter 20

Chapter 20


Kashine


I was just going to work on "Tell Me a Lie" for now. This'd be quick and easy, and hopefully it'd be the same for the boys. We didn't have much time.

I grabbed my journal and iPod and speaker and ran down to the recording studio. I could hear the boys yelling something about the yoga room, and I hoped that meant they were stretching or something. This was the only time I was asking them for their complete cooperation and attention. Okay, not only, but this was serious.

I plugged in my iPod to my speaker which I plugged into the outlet in the wall. I could feel a smile twitch at my lips. As much as I hate stress, I love hard work. Especially if it involves dancing.

I decided to change up my plan so I could get more done. This is what I was going to do: I was going to play the songs and dance to them (I'd already completed the playlist so there wouldn't be any pausing). Then I'd review them and jot down improvements into my journal. Then I'd start working on them one by one, until I thought the moves were perfect. Then I'd call the boys in here, and we could get started. Piece of cake, when you think about it. It's not as hard as it sounds.

Before I started my playlist, I jiggled my arms and legs and stretched a few times to loosen up my muscles. I was so excited. "I just can't hide it!" I sang in my head. Not for the first time I wondered what my voice would sound like, because my mind-voice didn't really sound like... me. If that makes any sense.

I started up the music and I grinned. The sweet sound of it filled my ears and I began to dance.




......




When I was done, I was sweating and panting slightly, but not at all tired. I went over to the computer and removed the dancing from the security tape. I saved it first in my folder before watching it, and it definitely looked great.

But I also saw some errors and grabbed my journal to take notes. A lot of parts I had to cool down on, and sometimes I would randomly switch to microphone-form. I decided that was a good thing so I could have a back up if we didn't get those headphones. Other than that it seemed perfect, just like my vision, and excitement buzzed inside of me.

I pushed myself away from the computer in my wheely chair and I spun for a moment. Then I got back to business and created a page in my journal for each of the songs. I wrote down all of my moves in great detail so I wouldn't forget (though I doubt I would).

Using my knowledge from the LWWY practice, I circled some places where I knew the boys would have trouble. I underlined for Liam, circled for Zayn, boxed for Harry, triangled for Niall, and did a weird kind of cloud thing for Louis because I couldn't think of any other shape that would work.

I smiled when I was finished. My wrist was throbbing from writing so much and I shook it out, but I was proud of my work. I was tempted to take a break, but I couldn't. There was too much work to be done.

But before I could start dancing again, this time with the new and improved moves, there was a knock on the door. I frowned; who could that be? The boys should be stretching, and this better not be a prank of some kind. They'd live to regret it.

I went over and answered. Niall smiled at me cheerfully. "Time for you to take a break," he said. I took a step back, shaking my head in protest. Too many things to do.... "Look, you have no choice," Niall said. "You missed dinner and now breakfast, and Harry told me he doesn't want you to starve yourself. And frankly, I agree. So, come on."

He took my hand and dragged me over to the kitchen. For the first time since lunch yesterday I realized I was hungry. Starving even. How could I have not noticed before?

"So, what do you want?" Niall asked. "I think this is a job for Harry since he can cook, but the others are stretching like you said to." I smiled at that piece of good news, but then I began to wonder what I wanted. It was weird how I could be so hungry but not know what I wanted. But it's happened before.

I frowned slightly when I remembered the Kashine-Is-A-Retard Diet. I lost so much weight from that.... But that's in the past now. I didn't have to worry about that anymore. Right?

"Helloooo? Earth to Kashine!" Niall yelled in my face and I jumped. He sighed. "You seriously have got to stop doing that," he exclaimed. "You're always staring into space. Like this." He stared straight ahead with large blank blue eyes and mouth hanging open slightly. I blushed. I looked that ridiculous?

I snapped my fingers in his face, and he blinked slowly. "Uh? What?" he asked, and I laughed. I knew he was faking it, but it was funny. He grinned.

"Sandwich, m'lady?" he asked and I nodded. Though I doubt one would be enough. "How many?" he asked, reading my mind. I held up three fingers. "What do you want on it?" he asked, taking out the bread and knife. I searched through the cupboard and grinned in satisfaction when I found them. I took out the Nutella and peanut butter and showed him.

"Coming right up," he said and tried to take them from me. But I frowned, shook my head, and held them close to me. I wanted to make them, I wasn't helpless.

"Gimme!" Niall cried and grabbed at them. I shook my head again and leaped backwards. I turned and ran. "Get back here!" Niall shouted and raced after me.

I was trying not to laugh again as we ran around the house. I leaped over game controllers, clothes, pillows, and other strange items and hoped they would trip Niall. No such luck.

"Yah!" he yelled and he slammed into me, taking me down. The Nutella and peanut butter flew out of my hands and I gasped, pretending to cry.

"Haha!" Niall shouted, holding them up. "I win!"

I continued to fake-sob, turning on my acting skills.

"Wait, wait, Kashine," Niall said gently and I tried not to burst out laughing. He sounded so soothing it was pathetic. But I went with it. "You can have them, see?"

I felt the containers being pressed into my hands, and I smirked. My grip on them tightened, and I shot to my feet, nearly knocking Niall backwards. I stuck my tongue out at him and ran. "You little--" Niall started to accuse but didn't finish his sentence. He got up and began to chase me again.

I went into the kitchen and got trapped. Niall whipped around the corner and grabbed onto me. "Got you now!" he cried and I went limp. I surrendered and gave him the containers. "Victory!" he whooped and I laughed. "Wait, why were we fighting again?" he asked and I laughed harder. Leave it to the boys to forget why they were angry in the first place. If you could even call it anger.

I sat down and Niall was quick as lightning making my sandwiches. "Order up!" he said and placed them in front of me. I made sure he wasn't looking before wolfing them down as quickly as possible. I felt a little sick, but I was full, and that's all that mattered.

I jumped to my feet and wiped my mouth. "Done already?" Niall said incredulously and I nodded. I gave him a quick thank-you hug and pointed towards the yoga room. "I'm going," he huffed. "Do you know if you'll be done soon?"

I shrugged and made a so-so gesture. Soon, I supposed.

"Okay, see you soon," he said and he ran off. I went the opposite direction, towards the recording studio.

I had to wait for the food to settle first before I could start dancing, so I paced impatiently for the sick feeling to go away. I waited five minutes after it was gone until I was satisfied and could get back to work.

I jiggled my limbs and stretched some more and turned on the music. I danced eight more times, this time for perfection.




.......




I was sweating again, but I barely noticed. My heart was thudding from excitement and exhaustion but I didn't care.

Once again I saved the footage in my folder and watched it on the computer. I breathed out a sigh of relief. It was perfect. Complicated, but perfect. The boys could do it if they set their hearts and minds to it, and I knew they would. It was time for them to come in and start learning.

I practically skipped down the hall and towards the yoga room, my journal in hand, to tell them the good news. I was feeling strangely light-hearted.

I got at least 60% of my work done, and the other 40% was teaching the boys the new moves. They better have a bigger brain capacity than I gave them credit for, because if they didn't, we're doomed. But let's not think like that. They're smart, they could do it. Let's get this show on the road!

I heard talking as I neared the yoga room and I frowned. They had better be stretching in there. Then I heard something that made my heart and feet freeze in place.

"--can't believe that you read it," Liam was saying. He sounded angry.

I hugged myself to the wall and listened in. It felt wrong eavesdropping, but I had an awful feeling I knew what they were talking about.

"I had to," Harry said defensively.

"Plus," Louis added. "We barely know her. Don't you want to know what Kashine's like? What she does? What she isn't telling us?"

"She can't tell us anything," Zayn snapped. "But she can write it down. Has it ever occurred to you that you could just ASK her what she's like? What she does? What she isn't telling us?"

A pause from the boys, and that gave away the answer. No, that never occurred to them. "Well, it's too late now," Louis finally said. "I read it, and now I know her better."

"What did you find out?" Niall asked curiously.

"Niall!" Liam scolded. "Doesn't it bother you that Louis and Harry intruded on Kashine's privacy on purpose?" My jaw clenched.

"Well, yeah," Niall said, a little sheepishly. "But they do have a point," he added more firmly. "We don't know Kashine, and do you really think she would write down her whole life story on a piece of paper for us to read? She's keeping private."

"And why would she do it again?" Harry added, putting emphasis in his voice on the word "again". "Not when she has her journal."

I swallowed down the gasp that bubbled up in my throat. They didn't! They read my journal! How could they? Tears pricked in my eyes and I blinked them back quickly. I trusted them, and they betrayed me. That time my journal went missing.... Who took it? Louis? Harry?

"I don't want any gossip," Zayn said sourly, and I began to listen in again. "So you can leave me out of this." Good for you, Zayn.

"But guys," Harry said pleadingly. "Maybe we can find a way to help her. Maybe we can find a cure for her silence. Maybe her journal has some thoughts that could key in on why she can't talk." A pause from all of them, and I tried not to snort.

Did they seriously believe that? All my journal had was the events of each day, and me gushing on and on about Keith. I had to choke back tears again. What if they read about him? How embarrassing!

"Go on," Zayn said, and my jaw dropped. He seriously believed Harry?!

"I read about some bitch named Miley," Harry continued. "She was a total jerk to Kashine."

The tears were now running down my numb cheeks. I couldn't feel my body. He knew about Miley? Then he must have seen the blood and tear stains! Ugh!

"And guys," Harry lowered his voice. "There were blood stains." I heard them gasp and anger boiled up inside of me. Harry sounded like he's telling some horror story! Come on, people, we've all seen blood before!

"I'm going to kill her," Zayn growled. "Miley, I mean. Not Kashine."

Ha, good luck with that. You would have to get past the whole football team for that to happen.

"There was also a girl named Nikki, but she was nice to Kashine," Louis added. He read it too! "But she treated her like a student or something. Nikki to Kashine, I mean."

My fists clenched. Telling stories like they're sitting around a campfire....

"And there was this guy," Harry added slowly, and my heart just stopped. Keith. He read about Keith.

I could actually feel my heart breaking in two from sadness and betrayal. I trusted them, and they totally threw me under the bus. They'd never be able to look at me the same way again. I couldn't even look at them. I was done. I was through.

I threw my journal down onto the ground, and I swear the slap of it could have been heard miles away.

The boys stopped talking. "Kashine!" Louis gasped and I heard their footsteps. I turned away and stomped off.

"Kashine, I can explain!" Harry called after me, but I ignored him. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and I jerked away, spinning around. Harry stood there with a guilty look on his face. "Kashine, I--" he started to say, but I didn't want to hear it.

I imagined my face was contorted in murderous rage as I swung my hand back and slapped him across the face. Not gently. Satisfied with the sound it made, I spun on my heel and stalked off.

I was through.