Mute » 1D

Chapter 21

Chapter 21


Kashine


I sobbed into my pillow. I don't know how long I stayed in my room for, but it was definitely a long time. I ignored the bathroom urges and hunger pangs I got and just focused on crying and crying and crying.

The boys would pound on my bedroom door and I would ignore them. I ignored their pleads and shouts and sometimes even threats.

I didn't regret any of it. I didn't regret slapping a huge celebrity upside the head and hopefully leaving a mark. Yep, that's right: hopefully. I wanted that to remind the boys that if they messed with me, they're going to regret it.

I couldn't wait for Simon to get here and see that I totally failed in my task. I wanted to get fired so I could go home, away from these traitors.

They thought they could help me, but they only made things worse. They read my JOURNAL, for crying out loud! My closest possession.

And I left it outside lying around. That's because I didn't care anymore. They read it already, read it a second time for all I care. Read it like a storybook, like a bedtime story. I didn't care, because apparently Kashine's secrets were worth shit.

I must've looked awful: hair all tangled up, face red and tear-stained, eyes bloodshot, nose streaming. I probably didn't smell all that good either. I was still in my sweaty clothes from who-knows-how-long-ago when I found out they read my journal. Good. Nobody would bother me then, if they knew what was good for them.

I was especially pissed at Louis and Harry. Niall and Zayn and Liam obviously hadn't read it, but they asked for information. At the very least they listened. Louis stole it from me and gave it to Harry, who read it to his heart's content. What was Louis thinking?! He shouldn't have stolen it in the first place! Then we wouldn't be in this mess!

The worst of it all was that my mind was still convinced I liked them. It told me to stop pitying myself and forgive them so I could get back to doing what I love most. It definitely beat lying around all day sobbing your lungs out.

But there's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I gave it to them, and they stomped all over it, like I didn't matter. I never mattered. Who cared about the retard mute girl anyway? She's stupid, she couldn't talk. Who cared what she thought?

I hoped they failed in their next few performances. I hoped they got booed and tomato-splattered. I hoped they got tossed into the streets.

No. I hoped that for just one day we could switch places: they were the five retard mute guys and I was the worldwide famous singer girl. They would get a taste of what it felt like to get your privacy invaded, and I would get a taste of freedom and popularity. Everyone would love me for just one day. I would love that.

I ran out of tears a long time ago. My stomach growled, and I really needed to use the bathroom. I wondered how long it's been since I left my room. Did it matter? Yes, it did. I couldn't die and rot in here.

I turned my head around so I could check what day and time it was on my alarm clock. I had left my iPod and speaker in the recording studio. I'd been in here for two days, wasting precious time, and it's 11:07am.

If I was lucky and quick, I could run out, go to the bathroom, grab something to eat and drink, and run back. But I was not feeling lucky and quick, unlike Google. I'd just have to try then. After all, Google wasn't perfect at first, right?

I crept over to the door and pressed my ear against it. I couldn't hear anything, but I wasn't convinced. I got onto my hands and knees and peeked through the crack between the door and the floor. I couldn't see any shadows blocking the light, so I got up again and eased open the door. It creaked slightly and I winced. I took a quick look around before opening the door farther and taking a careful step outside.

I half-expected a mine to explode underneath my feet or an alarm to start blaring but nothing happened. So I pressed myself up against the wall and snuck over to the nearby kitchen. Unfortunately, everybody was in there, talking quietly to themselves. Shoot, I guess I'd just have to eat the toilet paper and soap in the bathroom.

I crawled on my hands and knees past the kitchen entrance as quickly as possible. They didn't notice, and I breathed a quick sigh of relief. I darted into the bathroom and did my business. I flushed the toilet and flinched at the loud noise it made. My cover was blown. The boys would have to be deaf not to hear it. Well, there's always some hope: listening to too much music and screaming fans? Yeah, sure (note sarcasm).

I quickly washed my hands and forgot to peek underneath the door. I opened it and screamed. The boys stared back at me, but before they could do anything I pushed past them and tried to flee.

"Get her!" Harry shouted and I gasped. At least they're out of the kitchen now. I quickly turned the corner and Zayn and Niall ended up running past the kitchen, caught off guard. I still had to fight off three boys, so I grabbed as many snacks as I could and snatched a water bottle from the fridge. I should have brought a knapsack: there's too many things to carry, but not nearly enough to sustain me for two weeks.

I turned around and saw Liam, Louis, and Harry standing in front of the exit. I was trapped. I tucked the food and cold drink under my arm best I could, and did the last thing I was resorted to do: I raised my hand like I was about to slap them. They each flinched, and I took the opportunity to push Louis aside and run.

But Zayn and Niall were standing in front of my bedroom door. I felt like a mouse trapped between five cats. In other words, I was doomed.

I could feel my arm getting numb and slippery from the water and the snacks slipping out from under my arm, but I ignored it and tried to concentrate. I held up my hand and swung it back. Zayn lurched away and Niall ducked. I pushed them both away and went into my room, slamming the door shut and locking it quickly. I could hear them banging on the other side as I dumped my treasures on my bed.

"Kashine, open up!"

"We need to talk to you!"

"Please forgive us!"

"Those are my crisps you stole!"

I kicked the door, hopefully sending the message that I didn't feel like talking right now. I suddenly didn't really feel like eating or drinking either, just miserable.

My ex-friends were afraid of me. Afraid that I was going to slap them like I had to Harry. Didn't I want that? But that's not me. I don't slap people to get what I wanted. That's what Miley did. I didn't mean to.

I slumped against the door and buried my face in my hands. I slid downwards until I was sitting on my butt, sobbing my eyes out yet again.