Mute » 1D

Chapter 23

Chapter 23


Kashine


When I was done crying, I tore open one of Niall's crisps bags and had a couple. They tasted like heaven, and I had a few bags. They definitely made you thirsty though, so I grabbed my water bottle and took a long drink. For dessert I had found a brownie wrapped in plastic, which was good enough for me. I ate that quickly, and drank some more water.

I really wanted to brush my teeth and shower, but apparently the boys found it funny to station a guard outside my door. So I was stuck here for the time being until I got hungry or thirsty or needed to use the bathroom again.

I reached for my journal but then remembered it wasn't with me. Good thing I packed extras. I took one and managed to find a pen. I tore out a page and wrote on it:




I know you're there. State your name, fault, and one good reason why you should live. (PS, return the paper when you're done with it. Save the trees!)




I smirked at my last comment. I'm not a treehugger, and never will be. But I did find it unnecessary to waste a whole new journal just on one conversation. I slipped it underneath the door and waited.

"Harry Styles, read your journal, and I'm too sexy to die yet," he replied. I rolled my eyes and the paper was returned to me.




You didn't convince me. That one fault deserves two death sentences.




Silence. "Kashine, I didn't mean to--" Harry started but I slammed my fist against the door to shut him up. I didn't care about his excuses. If he didn't mean to, then why would he read it in the first place?

I got the paper back and I wrote:




If you really hadn't meant to, you would have taken it from Louis and given it straight back to me. But no, you just HAD to read it. You just HAD to know what my secrets were.




"I didn't want to know," Harry protested. "But Louis proposed a great point: we barely know you. So we thought we could find some answers from your journal."




You could've just asked, you know. That ever occur to you?




"No," he admitted. "But do you really think you would write down your secrets and life story for us to read? If you would, that would be pointless, because you've already got your journal written with all of those things inside."

I scowled. He's right, I would never tell them the whole truth. But reading my journal went too far. They read about Miley, Nikki, and Keith. They read everything. Because Kashine's feelings didn't matter.

"Please, Kashine, forgive us," Harry begged. "We didn't mean to make you angry. We wanted to help."

I wanted to shout at him that if he had really wanted to help at all he shouldn't have bothered with my silence, but I gagged. For one short moment I choked on my invisible rag until I gathered enough saliva to swallow. Then I realized I could have just used my water bottle. I was so smart.

"At least come out and talk to us again," Harry went on. Then he paused. "Uh, not actually TALK, but you can try. I mean, you can write things down for us again."

I turned up my nose. For some reason those hesitations didn't seem so cute and funny anymore. Just annoying.

"Can you please choreograph our concerts again?" Harry pleaded and my jaw dropped slightly. This was all what it's about, then? Just getting me to dance for them so they could remain famous?

I don't care, a small part of my heart and head complained. You need to dance again.

I definitely missed dancing, but I would be doing it for them. They're jerks, and they deserved to lose fans if they didn't dance. I hoped they failed. I slammed the door with my fist again.




There's your answer. Go away and leave me in peace.




I heard a sigh. "You're always welcome to come out again," he said quietly. "We miss you."

My heart wrenched for them as I heard him get up and leave. I missed them too, but they couldn't know that. They had to know that they utterly destroyed my trust in them when they took my journal, and they deserved to be punished with the silent treatment. Haha, silent treatment. I'd got that covered.

I curled up on my bedspread and wiped at my face. I pulled back my hand and stared at the wetness on it. I closed my eyes and prayed for sleep to come so I could get away from this nightmare. Any nightmare would be better than this.