Don't Matter

Chapter 51

"If we gon' be f*cking around (yeah, ooh, ooh, yeah)
Ain't gon' be no f*cking around (no, oh)
Don't get caught up in your feelings (woah)
'Cause if you fall in love, that's on you (ah-ow, yeah, yeah)
Single and I'm happy (ooh), single 'til I'm ready (oh, oh, na)
Don't get caught up in your feelings
'Cause if you fall in love, that's on you (yeah, look, okay)."
Kash Doll ft. Wale & Eric Bellinger "Single & Happy"

August

"Can you please stop shaking your leg? You're making me nervous." Ashanti complained, hitting me in the thigh.

"That doctor is taking a long time with those test results."

"We've been to three other ophthalmologists and they've all told you the same thing. I don't understand why you're wasting your time, finding another opinion."

Every single ophthalmologist I've been to has diagnosed me with Keratoconus. It's an eye disease that where a normally spherical cornea becomes irregularly cone shaped, preventing light from focusing on the retina. That's why I can't see people or images correctly and they're blurry. My left eye is worst than the right one because I can barely see through it. I've been wearing my shades more often to hide the slight redness caused by my constant rubbing. This whole time, I've been avoiding driving and going out.

Queen finally caught me when I told her to read an email I got from Michael. She asked me why I couldn't do it, but I was stuttering like crazy because I couldn't come up with a worthy enough lie. Ashanti snatched those sunglasses off my eyes and made sure I could see an optometrist, who referred me to the ophthalmologist, in less than a hour after seeing how serious my case was. I don't know why I never said anything; I'm not sure if it was embarrassment or the refusal to accept what was happening.

"What happened to 'keeping the faith'? They probably just said that sh*t to make some money."

"'Because you have so much money." She rolled her eyes.

"More than you."

"Do you want a round of applause?"

"You—." The doctor came in with a folder in his hand. I couldn't read his face because it had no emotion, not even the slightest smile.

"I need surgery, don't I?"

"Yes, to repair the damage. Your cornea has become so thin that contacts or glasses won't be helpful in this situation. Traditionally, we would perform a corneal transplant, but we can insert Intacs as it is now the more improved method to solve your Keratoconus."

"Man, you got me real scared. I thought you were going to say that I was going to go blind."

"It's your fault for not coming earlier, stupid."

"The saying goes: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it', but if all of y'all are saying the same thing, I have to go ahead with the plan."

"There are very few risks to this procedure because the Intacs are made of biocompatible material. It'll take less than 30 minutes and you can go home the same day, but someone will need to drive you. You should take it easy the first week as you start to gain your clear vision again." He explained the medications I would have to take after the surgery and the things I should do to ensure I recover quickly.

"August, August." I felt a hand repeatedly tapping me out of my thoughts. I came back to reality to see Queen standing by my side with nurses and Dr. Peyton in front of my bed.