The Deck of Destiny - A Caraval Oneshot Collection

Dead Hope

Setting: Post-Caraval - a big what if
Inspo: "what if Scarlett was dead and Julian became an alcoholic" req by Aloisiea
TRIGGER WARNING: this oneshot mentions suicide and alcoholism, so don't read this one if you aren't comfortable with these topics
This is v dark and I started writing back in November, but I couldn't finish it. But here y'all go.

As a teenager who grew up with an immortal brother who only had time for his travelling circus, Julian had learned how to conceal tears easily. Cold water that poured from a tap chilled his hands as he splashed it onto his red, dry eyes. Julian let out a shaky breath as he lifted his head to look in the mirror. Not bad.

He adjusted the black tie around his neck before fixing his hair that he hadn't styled in over a week. It was unlike Julian to be so careless about his appearance, but at this point, he just didn't care. But he wanted to look somewhat put together for the ceremony, so he tried, at least a little bit, to look like he was doing okay.

Julian's eyes flickered to the watch around his wrist and noticed they would be starting the ceremony soon. The hand ticked closer to the twelve and he tossed one last glance in the mirror. He would be okay. He was an actor, he could convince anyone he was okay. Except for her; she somehow always knew when something was wrong.

He fastened a black cloak around him, but opting to leave the top hat out of his look-book this time around. Julian would leave the top hats to Legend from now on. He would leave anything to do with Legend or Caraval in his past. But he had to attend this ceremony, it would feel too much of a betrayal to the only girl he could ever love if he didn't.

As Julian left his private bathroom and weaved his way out of his brother's mansion, he paused briefly by the balcony. His stomach dropped and the tears threatened to poke through again, but he refused to let them fall. Julian wondered if he hadn't let himself fall so hard, maybe things would be different, and he could have been there to guide her towards victory a little more.

Maybe.

The snow crunched beneath his black boots, and a feeling of dread slowly creeped towards Julian. He knew he would have to contain himself around the other visitors of the ceremony, but he did not know how easy it would be. In fact, he knew it would be very hard, and he was not looking forward to it. No one looks forward to funerals.

Julian had only been to one other funeral in his life, and that was to Rosa's. This funeral felt very similar to hers, and it shouldn't have surprised Julian. All three girls died the same way, just under different circumstances.

He opened the door to the chapel, something hidden on the very corner of La Isla de Los Sūenos. The Island of Lost Dreams. How very fitting. Legend was not the religious type, no one in the Santos family really was. But Legend liked to think of everything.

He just couldn't think of what would happen if Scarlett broke too many times.

Julian sat down at the back of the chapel, knowing all too well who would be sitting at the front. He thought that inviting Marcello Dragna and the real Nicolas d'Arcy to the funeral was a bad idea, and he said as much to Legend, but Legend said it was their family and they should be allowed to attend. He wanted to punch both of them. Marcello in particular. Julian wished Marcello was dead instead of Scarlett. He deserved it unlike her.

The chapel slowly began to fill up with Caraval actors considering the service was hosted by Legend, and soon, Jovan, Aiko and Casper slid next to Julian on the church bench.

Jovan lightly squeezed Julian's knee as she sat beside him, her other hand laced with Aiko's.

"It's not your fault," Jovan whispered lightly into Julian's ear.