COMPLETED
Penn State University.
Home to the craziest sorority girls, most obnoxious football players, and a girl who never wanted to be there in the first place.
Ellie Webber hates Penn State. But she is only there because her twin brother is the...
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Ellie Webber
The beauty of living is breathing and not having to ask why it was so easy.
As the top of my cap was placed on my head, I felt my hands shake my anxiety swallowing me whole. My gown was holding me snug enough that it was like a comforting goodbye hug, but it was also loose enough to remind me that it was time to let go.
I was finally graduating from college.
Life at Ohio State was like every single dream I ever had. I spent hours in the library just breathing in there. I spent hours outside every day just observing campus and wondering how lucky I was to accomplish my dreams. Dreams that I had never thought would come true.
As I grasped the paper in my hands, one that I hadn't picked up in a while– I reread it over and over again shaking from the amount of happiness I held in my heart for myself. "Ellie? You coming?" My eyes peered up from the paper that I kept in an envelope for many years to my apartment roommate– Maisy.
I smiled at her. "Yeah, give me a minute." She smiled back at me, nodding before walking down our apartment hallway. In a pile of papers laid a letter at the bottom of a stack of printed-out email conversations between Reese and me. I had meant to frame our first conversations, but I didn't get to it yet.
My eyes focused on the words, on my sloppy– desperate handwriting.
Hello.
I'm writing this in hopes that someone cares enough to reach out.
I'm going to kill myself today.
I'm serious, I am going to do it.
I am so sick and tired of living.
I am so sick and tired of breathing.
I am so tired.
So if you have found this before I have passed please know that I will hate you for the rest of my life because I want to die and you shouldn't have interfered with what I wanted to do. There is nothing here for me. There is nobody here that cares. There is nobody here that would bat an eye at my obituary.
