Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

63. I love you

'Oh!' Mrs Wilson exclaimed as she opened the door. 'You decided to drop by!'

'Yeah, we got back from the ranch yesterday.' Peter smiled at her. 'And today we were free, so we thought it would be nice to say hi.'

She gave a short nod of acknowledgement before picking up David. 'Hey little pumpkin, good to see you again!' With her other hand she gave Felicia's cheek a soft squeeze. 'You too. Come in. Tabby, we have some visitors you would love to see.'

Peter took off his shoes and coat and followed Mrs Wilson into the living room, where he was met by Tabitha, Leah's youngest sister. 'Peter!' she exclaimed, hugging him. 'It's been ages, how have you been?'

'I'm good, thank you!' Peter rested his hands on her shoulders. 'You've changed since the last time I saw you.' Her waist-length hair had been cut to shoulder-length and she had dyed it purple. 'How are you?'

'I'm okay,' she said. 'Been better, but also way worse. Woah...' She just stood there, staring at him in awe before pulling him in for another hug. 'I can hardly believe it's really you. And the kids, they've grown so much!'

Out of her six siblings, Tabby had been the one Leah was closest to. She had stayed over at their house a lot. She had helped them out with the kids a lot, by babysitting them. When Leah was sick, Tabby had taken care of her almost every day. Her death must have shaken her up a lot as well.

'I'm sorry for not visiting earlier,' he said, looking into her eyes. 'I really am.'

'It's okay,' she said, though her eyes were a bit glossy. 'I understand. You were just grieving. We're glad to have you back now.'

'I see you didn't take your nanny today,' Mrs Wilson interrupted them.

'I don't feel like his presence will be much appreciated here,' Peter said. 'Besides, he won't be living with us for a while. He's staying over at a friend's house.'

'Oh, I see.' Mrs Wilson nodded. 'Good.'

That remark did not sit right with Peter, but he let it be. 'How are you doing?' he asked instead.

'Oh, I'm fairly well.'

'That's good to hear,' Peter said. There was an awkward silence afterwards. 'Um... care for some coffee?' Tabitha asked.

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Time flew by. Peter and Tabby had a lot of catching up to do and they had fun with the kids as well. Mrs Wilson read David a book while Felicia chattered away to Tabby and Peter watched them with a smile. For a moment, it felt like everything was still the same. But it wasn't. Leah wasn't there.

He might be very far in his process of moving on, but Mrs Wilson wasn't. He could still see the pain in her eyes when she looked at Felicia. 'She looks so much like her,' Tabby whispered. Peter had to agree. Felicia took after her mom in many aspects.

Looking at Mrs Wilson, he imagined what she must feel like, losing not only her partner, but also a child. The thought of Felicia or David being taken from him like that caused a sharp sting in his chest that was so painful that he quickly tried to think of something else. No. If he lost them, he would have nothing to live for anymore. Well, almost nothing. Either way, he'd rather not think of it at all. But it was what his mother-in-law had gone through. And on top of that, she hadn't seen her grandchildren in a year. It was just cruel and Peter felt incredibly sorry.

'I'm really sorry,' he said again when Tabby and the kids were playing.

Mrs Wilson didn't reply, she just raised a brow at him.

'It might be too late for you to forgive me, but I promise I'll keep bringing the kids to you from now on. What I did, not allowing you to see your own grandchildren, that was not okay and I'm sorry you had to go through that on top of your grief. I was too consumed by my own to see how neglectful I was being. So the least I can do now is to try and make up for my mistakes. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope it can ease out a bit of the pain you've suffered in the past year.'

Mrs Wilson gave him a short nod in reply.

Suddenly, Peter got an idea. 'Would you perhaps like to take care of the kids for a day? I can tell Robin to take a day off and you will get to spend some time with them instead.'

'Hm.' She thought about it. 'I'm free on Wednesday.'

'Great!' Peter said. 'Then we will do that. Can I drop them off around 7AM and pick them up at 5PM?'

Mrs Wilson nodded. 'Okay.'

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When they drove home that night, the kids' moods, which had been gloomy since yesterday, had lightened. Felicia was happily chattering away about Tabby and granny, completely freed of her previous reservations towards the latter. David was making cute, tiny sounds while playing with his toy tractor. Ever since Leah's mom had given it to him, he had barely looked at his other toys. At the farm, he had been scooping up hay and snow and corn and moving it over to different placed. It was interesting to see how happy he was with something so simple. He and Felicia were really different in that way. It was not like Felicia was ungrateful, but she required constant stimulation and new challenges for her curious mind. Felicia had the thirst for knowledge that Peter found in himself, but more so in Leah, who had never stopped consuming knowledge. Even when she was really sick and too weak to hold up a book, she had asked Peter to read them to her. One chapter a day was all she could take, but she genuinely looked so happy when he did it. Just thinking of it brought a soft smile to his face and he looked in the rear view mirror, making eye contact with Felicia and smiling warmly.

'What is it?' she asked in confusion.

'I love you, my little butterfly,' Peter simply said.

Felicia grinned widely. 'I love you too, daddy!'

'Wuv you,' David repeated quietly in between his tractor noises.

'Aww,' Peter chuckled. 'Daddy loves little Davey too.'

The toddler didn't look up, but smiled at his tractor. 'Daddy wuv Davey,' he repeated.

'Yes, daddy does,' Peter said gently. 'I love you both so much.'

He figured that he should tell them more often. Though he tried to show it through his actions everyday, he knew that he had been lacking in the communication department. He had - ironically, as an English teacher - always had trouble expressing his feelings. Leah had been the one to pull him outside of his comfort zone and taught him to say his thoughts out loud more, but after her death he had shut down again, internalizing everything. It was only after Robin arrived that he started to be vocal about his feelings again.

Oh yes, Robin. Maybe it was time to tell him about his feelings. Or maybe not, right after that Larry stuff, now that he was in this mental state. Ugh, there would never be a right moment, would there?

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Nice. Welp, gotta go, my lesson on brain anatomy is about to start.

My comfort song since 2019 hihi