Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

77. The beauty within the shards

Robin's POV

After they had finished the first course, they waited for the main course. 'So, um...' Robin started.

'I remember everything,' Peter said.

'Oh.' Robin looked away. 'That's...'

'The situation wasn't what I'd hoped it would be like, but I meant every word I said with the utmost sincerity. Robin Peterson, I-'

'No,' Robin interrupted him. 'I'm not ready, Peter. What even is this? Taking me out on a date? I thought you would... stay away from me.'

Peter shook his head. 'When I said that, I thought it was the only thing that would help. But now, I'm not so sure.'

'It's not worth it,' Robin said. 'This... whatever you see for us in the future, it will not work out.'

'Why not?'

'Because I- I can't love you like that. I will break your heart.'

'How?'

'Just give up, Peter. I promise I will try to be there for the kids again, but stop trying to convince me.'

'Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me.'

'What?'

'If you do, I will give up.'

That couldn't be too hard. Robin sat up straight and looked into Peter's warm, brown eyes. Immediately, he felt his stomach drop.

'I-' he started, but his throat felt like it was being squeezed, he couldn't talk.

'I-' he tried again. Peter raised his brows, his eyes still warm as always.

Wow. He couldn't even get four simple words out.

'Either way,' he said. 'It doesn't mean that it will work out. Feelings are not a guarantee for happiness.'

'You're absolutely right,' Peter said. 'Maintaining a relationship requires effort. From both sides. And it starts with communication.'

Robin shook his head. 'Peter, you don't understand. I am damaged. I have been in a relationship before and I got hurt, really, really badly. I am not going to allow myself to be exposed to that kind of heartbreak ever again.'

'I know,' Peter said. 'Isaac Dawson. I know what he did to you. And I can assure you that I would never be able to do such a thing to you. You are enough to me, Robin. No matter how broken you are, I see the beauty within the shards. I could never get enough of you. Do you know how often I have studied every feature of your face, every line in your palms when you were still asleep? I was delusional for a while, but I have been whipped for you from the start. Every second you're not with me, my heart longs for you. I genuinely don't think I can live without you anymore. No matter how hard I've tried to get used to your absence, I just can't. You were meant to be with us.'

No matter how much those words touched Robin's soul, his mind was somewhere else now. 'How- how did you find out about Isaac?'

'The girl he was dating... that was Leah's sister Tabby. But that's a story for another time. Right now, I want to tell you about my first love.'

He glanced to the side, where a waiter was approaching with what seemed to be their food. 'Or at least, after we've finished eating that.'

'I thought Leah was your first love,' Robin said when they finished their food.

'She wasn't,' Peter said. 'And that was one of the reasons why I initially struggled with accepting my feelings for you. Because I knew that if I did, I would have to accept that my first love was real. Actually, my first love was a boy.'