Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

78. Fight for us

Peter felt oddly nervous now that the truth was out. Robin's mouth was agape, his eyes big. Then, he frowned. 'Actually, that makes so much sense. I was so confused about the tension between you on my birthday. But now I understand. Oh my god... it must have been so hard for you. But... he was so accepting when I came out.'

'Well, people change,' Peter said. 'Actually, he came to visit me last week. He explained everything to me and it turns out that I wasn't wrong, he just... couldn't accept it, for reasons I cannot tell you. Either way, we talked it out and I forgave him. It's all good now, but back then, it left quite the scar.'

'I can imagine,' Robin said quietly. 'My god, that was cruel...'

'It was. It haunted me for years. Messed with my self-esteem too. I fell into a depression and it was still like that when I met Leah. Well, I opened up to her pretty quickly. She just had that feeling that would immediately put you at ease around her. I felt comfortable confiding in her, so I did it pretty often. She was very empathetic, but also always positive. No matter how dark my life looked to me, she always found a way to flip it around, show me new perspectives. Sure, my therapist tried his best, as did the antidepressants, but it was Leah who opened my eyes to the beauty of the world and, inevitably, I started to notice the beauty of her heart.'

He smiled softly to himself as he reflected on those days where he just wanted to disappear and she popped up out of nowhere, like a ray of sun on a cloudy day. When he was so tired he just laid his head on her lap and closed his eyes while she ran her fingers through his hair. The way she would flick his forehead whenever he dozed off while reading another lengthy book for his studies during their study-sessions together. Their heart-to-heart talks under the sycamore tree. The warmth of her hands whenever she would hold his and tell him that it would be alright.

'I got the tingles in my stomach again, the constant desire to be held by her, the longing when she wasn't there. I noticed all of that, but I ignored it. I refused to acknowledge that I had feelings for her, because I was scared of getting hurt again. If I just didn't face them, they didn't exist and wouldn't cause trouble. But then, one day, she told me she had feelings for me.'

It was in the middle of winter. First snow of the year. Leah had been so excited about it, as if she was still a kid. She had dragged Peter outside, who protested because it was cold, but when he watched the snowflakes fall, he was mesmerized. He tried to catch a few, but then Leah, completely out of the blue, said: 'Peter, I am madly in love with you.'

'That stunned me, obviously. I had been so busy denying my feelings that I hadn't even thought about hers. And my first response was: "why?" I genuinely couldn't understand that an amazing person like her would be interested in someone broken like myself. And then she listed like, a hundred things she liked about me. It was terrible. When she was finally done, I told her that I did not believe in love. But no matter what, she did not give up. She stayed around me and showered me with love. It was very overwhelming, but with every conversation we had, she broke through my defenses a little more, until there was nothing left and I had no other option than accepting that I had been given a second chance at love. From that moment on, I decided to let go of my fear and go all in. We spent six happy years of our lives together and looking back on it, every single second was worth it, even the hard times. Because when there's love and two people are willing to fight for it, there is a way.'

'D*mn,' Robin whispered, looking away. His eyes were glossy. 'I think you just tore a few of my defences down.'

He said it ever so quietly, but Peter heard it, feeling his heart skip a beat. 'I'm willing to fight for us,' he said. 'Are you?'

______________________________________

Well Robin, if you won't, I will. Give me a man willing to fight for me like that.

This chapter kinda gives off similar vibes to "Rewrite the stars" actually. I watched the movie a few weeks ago, it was pretty good!