Only Human: Before and After

Chapter 140: June Jackson

Back to Original POV

We kissed. Oh my God. We actually kissed! Now that I was laying in my giant bed at the resort staring at the intricate ceiling, the events from earlier started to replay in my mind. I had nothing against Lannister. I actually really liked him, and found that I liked being around him. I just never thought that it was because we were meant for each other, or destined, as Lannister called it. My heart was still pounding, and it felt like a thousand feathers were running along the inside of my body. I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it while kicking my feet.

How could this make me so happy? I was already with two men who made me incredibly happy, and yet Lannister put me on a high I couldn't come down from. I don't even know how I got back here. At first we were kissing under the moonlight in the most beautiful place in the world, then the rest was a happy fog. I remember climbing up on his back again, and flying across the plains. I remember him shifting back and walking with me, but his golden eyes were all I could stare at. He bid me goodnight, and now I was here rolling about the bed wanting the night to last forever.

I had an Amorita, and I was Lannister's Amorita. We were each other's. We waited for each other, and now we were on the same page. I belonged to a freaking unicorn! All this time I kept trying to deny this crush I had, and it was valid. I liked him, and he liked me. This was an entirely different situation from my other partners. With Cenderion and Destin, I didn't have romantic feelings for them at first. It was their dedication and sweetness that won my heart. With Geralt there was attraction, but I openly acted upon it because I thought he wasn't real at first. By the time I discovered he was real we both were open and apparent about this mutual attraction. Lannister was one I had liked since I first saw him. He was the forbidden fruit I couldn't have, because there was no way he liked me back. But he did! He really did!

I squealed again and rolled onto my stomach rapping my feet against the soft mattress. I was so happy that no one was around to see me geek out like I was doing, but I pulled a pillow in close. All giddiness aside, I now had yet another partner. One that was unexpected, but welcomed. That made for five different men who were intent to be a part of my life in some capacity. Cenderion, Destin, and now Lannister already had a bond of some kind with me. Two were forced, and all three were unexpected. It made me wonder if the Amorita thing was also forced. I mean, I didn't consent to it. I had no idea that it had even occurred. I was apparently five when it happened. Yet it felt different from my wedding and marking. He explained that the bonding only happened because there was already something there. I mean in the grand scheme of things who gets to choose who they love anyway? My thoughts wandered to Geralt and his burning crimson eyes. I guess he proved my point. I wish my heart would stop yearning for him.

Both Geralt and Hendrix were outliers. There was nothing bonding us outside of obsession or desire. Geralt and I could be seen as different sides of the same coin; both After Realm beings tampered with by Before Realm magic that has adjusted our fates to align with our winged patrons. As poetic as all that sounded, we were born enemies. Destined to be the thorn in the other's side. It was a relationship I had to reject for self-preservation. For everything and everyone I held dear. That just left Hendrix.

I honestly had no idea where Hendrix stood. His intentions were plain, his ambition obvious, but his commitment uncertain. I was starting to have feelings of interest when in his presence. A rekindled feeling from the first time we met. He was handsome, confident, capable, and intelligent. Traits that I found extremely attractive, but our past was complicated. I don't even know at what point his desire to torment and teach me my place had changed to his desire to pursue me and share adventures together. He was already upset about my current partners, and how I could forgive them, while still pushing him away. If I told him about Lannister—