Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter One // Clouds of Smoke

It was a cool Autumn day in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The streets were filled with mustangs, zooming down the road, the engines roaring. The day felt ordinary, not a single change seemed to be present.

I was wrong with that thought, and boy, do I wish I was right instead.

I slowly touched my greased back hair, as a few brown strands were in my face. I was supposed to be a grease, a JD, a hood. And everyone in the city knew that.

I was sitting outside in the lot, my best friend Johnny right by me. He was puffing a cigarette, clouds of smoke coming out of his mouth. He too was silent, but his black eyes were examining something in the distance.

Suddenly, my thoughts took a turn. I closed my eyes, envisioning the old church in Windrixville where I had stayed with my best friend Johnny.

Johnny.

Something had changed during our stay in the church, at least for me. We spent a few days, maybe a week, away from civilization, just the two of us. I remembered how chilly the church was, and how Johnny and I had to huddle for warmth, and I remember what Johnny looked like in the light that the sunrise gave off one morning.

His tan skin was glowing, emitting a caramel color. I remember that I reached out to touch his hands, which were smooth and soft. His eyelashes were also long on his cheeks, making him look younger as he slept. I remember I felt my heart racing, and at that very moment, I realized something.

I had feelings for Johnny Cade.

All of a sudden, I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking me back to reality.

"You alright, Ponyboy?" asked Johnny. His tan hand was on my bare shoulder, and he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth. His black eyes stared at me.

"Yeah, don't worry about it Johnnycakes. I'm really bored, how about we go down to the Dingo?" I really needed a distraction from my thoughts, or else I might do the unimaginable.

Johnny nodded his head, slowly getting up. He wiped his faded blue jeans off, and then proceeded to put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. I then got up, and we began walking through the city.

-

The whole walk there, I couldn't help envisioning what it would be like to hold Johnny's hand as we walked. I imagined his smooth hands, which would have a slight grip on mine as we walked in a comfortable silence.

Unfortunately, this didn't happen, and it never will. I knew this,

Johnny and I sat in a booth, and Elvis was blasting in the background. We both adored Elvis. Suddenly, Johnny began to smile.

"What?" I questioned him, confused. Had I done something funny?

"Nothing, I can just tell you're thinking hard about something. Your eyebrows are furrowed and stuff," he explained to me, that grin still on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking, alright," I replied, as a burning sensation was in my cheeks. I could feel my cheeks and ears turning red.

"What were you thinking about?" asked Johnny, wiggling his eyebrows.

I sighed in my head, cursing myself for turning red. There was no way in hell I was going to admit my true thoughts to him, never in a million years.

"Nothing," I said back a little to quickly, causing his eyebrows to shoot up at my tone.

"Were you thinking about that cute Soc, Cherry Valance?" interrogated Johnny.

"I-" I began talking, before I was cut off.

"Hi, can I take your order?" I looked up, and saw a waitress standing at our table. She had quite a bit of makeup on, and her black hair was cascading down her back.

Saved by the waitress, I silently thought to myself. I didn't want to have that awkward conversation with Johnny, where I knew I would have to lie through my teeth.

"I'll just take a coke, and a cheeseburger, thanks," said Johnny.

The waitress nodded, and then looked at me.

"I'll take the same, thank you," I said to her, watching her write down our orders. She then turned around, walking away from us.

"Where were we?" laughed Johnny.

I could feel my anger and embarrassment burning up inside of my body, and before I had time to think I yelled, "Jesus Christ, Johnny! Can I just have a personal thought without you prying at me for information? I don't want to tell you, so please, stop asking!"

Johnny's face immediately fell, and I realized what I had done.

"I'm sorry Johnny, I shouldn't have yelled at you," I whispered quickly.

He looked up at me, his black eyes looking empty yet helpless at the same time.

"It's alright, I'm sorry for prying, it's my fault," he replied.

I felt guilt build up inside of me, and I felt terrible. We both sat in silence, waiting for our food to come. Once it did, we quickly ate, and left without another word.

-

When I got home, I quietly crashed on the bed that my brother Sodapop and I shared. i could feel the blankets sinking under my weight, devouring me with warmth. I sighed, remembering that after Johnny and I had come back, he decided to go home. I felt like it was my fault, since I was the one who snapped at him.

I sat up on the bed, and I put my face in my hands. I had no clue what I was going to do. Do I just wait for Johnny to come around? Do I go to his house looking for him? I had absolutely no idea. I stood up, and slowly walked to our desk in the corner of our room.

I sat down, pulling out a pen and a journal that i had disguised as a diary. I flipped open to the first blank page, and began to write.

-

Dear Journal,

Today I feel like I messed everything up. Johnny and I were at the Dingo, when I began thinking. He noticed this, and questioned me relentlessly. I began yelling at him, and he got quiet. When we went home, he decided to go back to his own place. It's all my fault.

On top of that, my feelings for Johnny have been getting stronger, and I don't know what to do anymore. I look at him and see the life I could've had if he felt the same was too, if he were gay, or at least bisexual. I know this will never happen though, and it's killing me from the inside. I'll never tell him how I feel.

Ponyboy Curtis

-

When I was done writing, I decided that I needed a break from everything. I grabbed one of Soda's flannels, and walked out the door. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the lot, a cigarette in my hand, watching the sunset.

The sky was a bright orange, with pink streaks in it. It seemed like it glowed, and the mist was a pretty silver color. The scene was peaceful.

Before I knew it, tears were running down my cheeks.