Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter Eighteen // The Cade Confessions

Johnny's POV

I wanted to scream, and I wanted it all to finally end.

Everything was going to shit.

I sunk into my hospital bed, thinking of all the events that had happened recently, what had caused them, and how I could fix them.

It all started a year ago.

Flashback

"Soda, can I talk to you about something?" I asked, sitting down on the couch.

"Sure, what's up?" he questioned. I sighed. I couldn't believe I was about to do this.

"Sodapop, I think I'm.." I said, trailing off. He was sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting to hear what I had to say.

"I think I'm gay, Soda," I mumbled. Soda gasped loudly.

"You can't think that, Johnny!" he exclaimed. I looked down.

"Why not?" I replied. Sodapop sighed, knowing that he'd have to explain things to me.

"Because it's not right, Johnny," he stated. I shrugged.

"How do you know?" I asked. It's not like Sodapop was the smartest out of the gang.

"Because those feelings are going to pass, trust me, I know," he whispered. I stared at him.

"Oh," I mumbled, unsure of what to say.

"I'll tell you what, Johnny, I'm gonna help you out. I'm gonna get you a date," he stated. I felt ashamed.

"Okay, Soda. Fix me, I guess," I whispered. Sodapop patted my shoulder.

Everything began from there.

Sodapop would try and get me dates with girls, and while they were pretty, I never felt anything beyond friendship with them. They were too frilly, or too loud, or too girly, or too something that I just didn't like.

I was content with being alone, and occasionally staring at some cute boys on the street when I saw them. I wasn't emotionally attached or in love.

That was until my trip with Ponyboy to Windrixville happened.

Spending a week with Pony changed everything for me.

-

I was sitting on the dusty floor of the church, trying to read "Gone With The Wind." I had nothing better to do.

Pony's head was on my lap. He was napping silently. I put the book down to look at him for a second.

I studied Pony's face, and I realized how beautiful he was. The sunlight streaming in through the window made his skin look radiant, and his bleached blond hair added a certain allure to him. It was a golden color in the sun. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and his eyelashes were long on his cheeks. His soft hands gripped at my legs, and there was a slight smile stretched across his pale, pink lips.

I couldn't help but smile to myself. I felt like a Greek God was laying on me. He was something else.

I couldn't resist myself.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and I reached out to hold both of his hands.

I fell asleep in peace.

I think that that was when I first realized I was developing feelings for Ponyboy. They started simply, but as they progressed, they became more complicated.