Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter Nine // Confrontations & Conversations

Steve stood in the doorway, looking at me with a certain look in his eyes. I couldn't exactly tell what it was, but it looked like love and caring.

Steve walked into the room, and sat on my bed. He patted the spot next to him, and motioned me to sit down.

I got up and sat down next to Steve. I was wondering why he was in my room. I was scared, yet anxious at the same time.

"What is it, Steve?" I mumbled. I sort of wanted to be alone.

Steve wrapped his arms around me, and put my head on his chest. He was breathing calmly, and I could hear his heart beating.

"How are you feeling, Pony?" he asked. He was trying to be gentle. I looked at him.

"Why would Johnny do it, Steve? Why would he just kiss me, and then say it was a mistake and meant nothing?" I questioned. I wanted some sort of consolation for the way I felt.

"Do you really want to know why I think he did it?" he asked. I nodded my head desperately.

"Think about the past few days. Remember when Johnny said he wasn't a queer out of nowhere? Maybe he is, and he's in denial. Or, he might have feelings for you, and kissed you, and then freaked out. Maybe he doesn't think you're a queer. Maybe he just freaked out and lied. Maybe he feels exactly the same," he said. I thought about it for a second.

"But what am I supposed to do? He hurt me," I whispered. Steve sighed.

"Just stay away for a bit, alright? Let yourself get better before talking to him, it'll be good for you," he said. I just nodded.

-

I was getting ready for school. It was Monday, which meant I had a full week to go. I usually loved school, but I had to see Johnny. I was scared.

I decided to take a shower to clean myself, and make me feel refreshed. I really needed to relax before going to school.

I stepped into the bathroom, and stripped myself of my clothes. The bathroom door opened.

"Damn Ponyboy! Nice body!" giggled Two Bit from behind me. Thankfully, my body was still covered for the most part, so he only saw my chest and stomach. Nonetheless, I still blushed.

Two Bit winked at me, and then closed the door. I sighed in relief, and turned the shower on. I made sure the water was warm, and then I stepped into the shower.

The warm water cascaded over my body. I felt the tension leave my body. I grabbed my body wash, and squirted some all over me. It was a vanilla scent. I really liked how it smelled, and it made lots of bubbles.

I washed my hair and conditioned it, and continued to wash my body. When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist, and went to my room to change.

Today, I decided on a black t shirt with a green flannel and blue jeans. I wanted to look like I had everything together, and like I wasn't suffering on the inside.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and tried to fix my hair. I didn't grease it too much today. I wanted to look laid back.

There was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Let's go Ponyboy! If you don't hurry up, I'll leave without you," said Two Bit, smiling.

I rushed out of the house.

-

I was standing around in the hallway during passing period. I didn't have much to do, and Steve was no where in sight. He was one of the only ones still in school with me. Usually, he'd walk me to my math class.

I was just standing, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, interested to see who it was.

I gulped.

Johnny was standing in front of me, a sorrowful look on his face. His black hair looked soft, and his warm brown eyes looked pleading.

"Can I talk to you, Ponyboy?" he asked, grabbing my right hand.

I felt heat rush to my hand, but I didn't say anything for a few seconds. I needed to protect myself. I couldn't let Johnny hurt me again.

I ripped my hand away from Johnny's grasp. I wanted it to be known that he had hurt me when he kissed me, and then called it a mistake.

"No, you can't" I replied to him. I saw him frown.

"Why not?" he questioned. He clearly wasn't going to let this go.

"Because there's nothing to talk about," I stated, before walking away.

The words that I said to him were a lie. There was lots to talk about.

-

I was sitting in the Dingo, my notebook on the table. Usually, Johnny and I would come after school to get some food, but that wasn't the case today. Instead, I sat at a booth by myself.

In front of me, I had a cold Coca Cola to drink, and my pens and a few books were sprawled across the table. This happened every time I came here. Usually, I would nerd out about my books and writing. Johnny said that he loved hearing me talk about it.

Flashback

"And then Tom Sawyer convinced Ben to paint the fence! It was amazing reverse psychology!" I exclaimed. Johnny was resting his head on his hands, and he was smiling.

"What?" I asked. I didn't quite recognize the look, but I felt like it was felt with love.

"I just adore when you nerd out like that. It's cute," he stated. I felt my cheeks turn pink.

"Thanks," I mumbled shyly. Johnny began to giggle, so I raised my eyebrows.

"I used the word adore correctly, right?" he asked, jokingly. I smiled.

"Yes Johnny, you did," I replied.

End of Flashback.

Everything seemed so simple back then. My crush on Johnny was like a schoolgirl crush. It was tiny, and it made me feel giddy inside.

Now, my love for him felt like a wildfire. It was hot and bright, yet painful. Everything about my love for him hurt, but it hurt good.

I continued to write things down in my notebook.

-

I was sitting in the living room, when Dally sat down next to me.

"Hey Dal," I said, not thinking much of it.

"We gotta talk," he stated. His voice sounded deep and serious. I gulped.

"Yeah, what about?" I questioned, trying to keep my cool.

"Johnny told me that you refused to talk to him in school today. What's going on?" he asked, demanding to know.

I sighed, and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't believe that I was about to have this conversation with Dallas fucking Winston.

"Let's just say he hurt me bad, and I don't know what to do," I mumbled.

"Let me guess, Johnny finally kissed you, didn't he?" he said, slightly laughing.

My jaw dropped.