Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter Thirty Six // The Last Letter

Johnny's POV

Dear Johnny,

My love, I hope not to see your tears. I would be in anguish.

Today, I was told that my medical condition worsened. I was suffering pain that was unbearable.

I already know in my heart and in my soul, that it is time for my existence to be terminated from the Earth. Although it hurts me to leave you this early, I have no choice.

I am dying.

By the time you read this letter, my existence will lessen until I am non existent.

I do not want to leave you, my love. It is not my choice, but it is destined to happen.

I love you, forever and unconditionally.

You, my dearest, were my first and only love. You have stolen into my affections without my consent, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I wish that I could continue to fight the battle that I am loosing, but I've become tired and weak.

I am mortified that I have to leave you this early. If I could have it my way, I would undeniably choose to spend the rest of my days by your side until we grow old together.

You are my love, my first love, and my only love. I will love you for an eternity, and I will continue to love you when you join me in the sky one day.

Until then, my dearest, I would like to write a tribute to you.

I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you. Your existence and tour being astonishes me every time I see you.

You are so beautiful.

I adore your smooth, tanned skin which is warm and soft to the touch.

Your black, wavy hair that I like to run my fingers through is like a blessing.

On top of that, your puppy dog eyes make my world go around. I adore your eyes. They glimmer in the sunlight.

To add on, your smile is divine. It could light up a city. It is so beautiful, so pure.

I love your lips. Even though we only shared a few kisses, they were blissful. Every time my lips would touch yours, I would feel fireworks. And every time you speak, I am enticed by your words.

There's more.

Your hands, I love your hands. I love to hold them, feeling them intertwined with mine. They comfort me, and they fit perfectly in mine.

On top of that, I love your body. Your smooth skin is everywhere. I would love nothing more than to cuddle with you for the rest of my days. I would love to explore it if I could.

I would love to explore you.

My love, I have loved you since our adventure to Windrixville. I fell hopelessly in love with you, and I do not regret my feelings and admirations for a second.

Before I go, I would like you to know how I realized I loved you.

I remembered how chilly the church was, and how you and I had to huddle for warmth. I remember what you looked like in the light that the sunrise gave off one morning.

Your tan skin was glowing, emitting a caramel color. I remember that I reached out to touch your hands, which were smooth and soft. Your eyelashes were also long on your cheeks, making you look younger as you slept. I remember I felt my heart racing, and at that very moment, I realized something.

I realized that I had feelings for you.

These feelings gradually grew as the days went by. You became my world very quickly. You were more than a friend.

I was scared of your rejection and hatred, so I kept my feelings secret. It was better to be with you as friends than nothing at all.

But then, you kissed me. My whole world lit up like a bunch of fireworks. My heart pounded out of my chest, and I felt billions of butterflies grow within me.

I knew for sure that you were the one for me. I knew that we were destined to spend the rest of our lives together.

We have suffered through battles together, trying to find a way to love each other. We finally did, because even though my existence will be terminated off of this earth, at least I get to die a happy man.

At least Ponyboy Curtis dies as Jonathan Cade's boyfriend.

This may be the end of my life, my dearest, but I want you to go on without me. You deserve complete and utter happiness, and you deserve the finer things in life.

I apologize that I will not be here physically. But, I will always watch you from up above.

I cherish our memories together, even though we did not have millions.

I cherish how we used to play together as young boys, oblivious to our future together, and I cherish our arguments as well as our relationship.

You made me feel a type of way that I will never experience again. These feelings have only been for you. No one on this Earth can replace you.

You are everything and more I could ever want.

My love, as I write this letter, I get weaker and weaker. My only regret in life is that I got shot, which is taking me away from you. If only there was a way that I could continue on...

I remember the pain I felt when you were in the hospital. I thought I was loosing you without loving you first. I am overjoyed that I at least get to love you one last time before I leave..

I hope that my love is enough. I hope that you will continue on for me, making me prouder and prouder. I want you to become an amazing man. I want you to do what is best for you.

If I do survive, I will be overjoyed. I believe that is unlikely, though.

Jonathan Cade, my beautiful Johnny, I love you, and I will forever and always.

Stay Gold, my love. Stay Gold...

Until the next life,

Ponyboy Curtis xo

I screamed through tears.

No, no, no...