Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter Thirty One // Motives

Johnny's POV

I walked out of Ponyboy's room, feeling as happy as ever.

That's when I saw someone leaning up against the wall.

Sodapop.

I felt my blood boil. I began to walk away, not wanting to talk to him.

What was he doing here? I asked myself.

I heard footsteps behind me. I began to walk faster, picking up the pace.

I was too slow.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I gulped turning around.

I was met with Sodapop's face, except this time it looked different. It didn't look angry.

"Hi, Johnny," he said. I blinked a few times, confused.

"What do you want?" I asked. Frankly, I was scared and nervous.

"Can we talk?" he replied. I felt like I stopped breathing for a few seconds.

"About what?" I questioned slowly. I didn't want to jump into something I couldn't get out of.

"It's about Ponyboy," he stated in a whisper. My ears turned hot at the mention of his name.

"Alright," I stuttered.

-

Sodapop and I walked out of the hospital in complete silence. I didn't want to have small talk. I wanted everything to get straight to the point.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked, motioning to his car.

I shook my head. "No."

I didn't want to tell Soda this, but I felt unsafe. I was scared that he was going to kill me.

We continued to walk to a type of courtyard that was outside. We both sat down. I could feel myself shaking.

"What's going on?" I asked. He had ignored me for so long, that sometimes I forgot that he existed.

"Do you really love Ponyboy?" he questioned. I raised my eyebrows, but then nodded my head.

"I love him more than anything," I replied. Sodapop looked down.

"More than Angela Sheppard?" he asked, continuing. I laughed.

"I never loved her, hell, I don't even like her! I dumped her yesterday," I stated. Soda gave me a look of shock, but then his face settled.

"Good, good," he mumbled. I squinted my eyes, looking at him weirdly. What was good, exactly?

"Remember when you first told me you were gay?" he asked, continuing. How could I not remember the things that he said to me?

"Yeah, yeah I do," I said. I tried to forget, but it was harder than it seemed.

"I don't know if you remember, but I said something about trusting me on how the feelings would go away," he stated. I tried to remember what he was talking about.

"I think I'm gay, Soda," I mumbled. Soda gasped loudly.

"You can't think that, Johnny!" he exclaimed. I looked down.

"Why not?" I replied. Sodapop sighed, knowing that he'd have to explain things to me.

"Because it's not right, Johnny," he stated. I shrugged.

"How do you know?" I asked. It's not like Sodapop was the smartest out of the gang.

"Because those feelings are going to pass, trust me, I know," he whispered. I stared at him.

"Oh," I mumbled, unsure of what to say.

I suddenly remembered what he was talking about. What was he trying to tell me? Was this going to be some sort of intervention?

"Yeah, I remember. What are you talking about, Soda?" I asked. This was getting weirder and weirder by the second, and I was unsure how to feel or react.

I looked at Soda, trying to find something in his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was biting on the inside of his cheek. His hand was also going through his hair.

"When I said that, I was talking from experience.." he said, trailing off. I audibly gasped. I couldn't tell, but I think Soda was beginning to tear up.

A few things started to line up for me, but not completely. There were clearly parts of the puzzle that were missing.

"Just to clarify, I'm not gay. What I felt was a one time thing," he stated. I nodded my head, trying to understand.

"Who was it?" I asked. Soda wiped at his eyes.

I gasped when he told me who it was.

I wasn't sure if I was surprised or amused, but both reactions were acceptable.

Then, a question hit me.

If Soda knew what these types of feelings felt like, why did he treat Pony and I so badly?

"Sodapop?" I asked. He looked into my eyes.

"Yeah?" he replied. He probably thought that I was going to ask questions about him.

"If you knew how it felt to like a boy, why did you treat Pony and I so badly?" I asked. Soda sighed.

"I thought that maybe, just maybe, trying to get you in the direction of girls might help fix it. That's why I set you up with Angela. With Pony, I didn't do anything because he said he was bisexual. For him, I just hoped that the Cherry Valance girl would catch his attention again," he stated. I could tell how guilty he looked.

I sighed. It was clear to me that Sodapop had good intentions, but he executed them poorly.

"I'm sorry, Johnny. For everything. I'm sorry for the fight, and I'm sorry for treating both of you like trash," he mumbled. I nodded, understanding better.

"I accept your apology, but you still have to talk to Pony. I can't speak for him," I replied. He nodded with a frown.

"I know, I know. I just feel like I'm too late," he whispered. He was definitely crying now.

"It's better late than never, right?" I suggested. This made Soda smile a bit.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point," he replied, getting up. I assumed that he was off to talk to Ponyboy.

"Oh, and Soda?" I said. He whipped his head back around, looking at me. Tears were drying up on his face.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Tell my boyfriend I said hi," I said. Sodapop began to smile real big.

"You mean..?" he asked trailing off. I nodded while grinning.

"Yeah, yeah. We are," I replied.

I felt a pair of arms squeezing me.