Sunsets and the Stars // Johnny x Ponyboy

Chapter Thirty Eight // Dead or Alive

Johnny's POV

The whole gang was waiting outside of Ponyboy's room. They all looked at me sympathetically.

Darry reached out to turn the doorknob. He opened the door. We all filed in slowly.

I could barely breathe after I had walked through the door. I touched Pony's letter which was in my pocket. I touched his last letter.

I assumed he was dead.

The rest of the gang was pulling up chairs to sit at the side of the bed. I refused to budge.

I already knew that he was dead.

"Come on Johnny, come sit down," said Steve softly. I shook my head.

"He's dead," I whispered. Everyone turned pale.

"He's not dead, buddy," stated Darry. I began to shake.

"He's dying," I replied. I felt my knees to weak.

"He's dying and there's nothing we can do about it," I continued. Dally began walking to me. I felt my frame shrink.

He put both of his hands on my shoulders, and he looked down at me.

"Pony's not dead, Johnny. Come see for yourself," he whispered. I don't think that the rest of the gang could hear him. Dallas Winston was being too soft.

Dal put his arm around my shoulder, and walked me to the side of the bed.

I began to cry when I saw Pony laying there. He looked lifeless.

His face was so pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. His cheeks looked terrible, they were blue and purple and green at the same time. His lips were badly chapped, like he was dehydrated. His bleached blond hair that was growing out looked dry and fake, like it wasn't a part of him. This time, he didn't look younger when he slept. He looked dead.

I looked at all the needles in his arms, the needles that were supposed to be keeping him alive and failing, and the bandages wrapped around his side. There was blood everywhere. I wanted to be sick. It looked like he'd never stop bleeding.

The crimson liquid gave off a metallic smell, which reminded me how real this whole situation was. I wished I was dreaming really badly.

I reached out to touch one of his fingers. His skin was cold and warm at the same time. He didn't grab back. I wanted him to grab back, no, I needed him to grab back.

I didn't really realize how loud I was crying until I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me. I could hear my whimpers, and I could feel my heart beating quickly.

A part of me wished that it was someone else in that bed instead of Pony. Poor, innocent Ponyboy who never did anything wrong. I knew that it was wrong of me to think that, but I knew that it would hurt me less. At least I'd still have the love of my life.

I decided to sit down on the bed with Pony, clutching his hand.

I thoroughly examined the whole gang.

Darry looked weak, which was a rare occurrence for him. He didn't look big and like he had brawn. He looked like a scared little kid who was lost in the world. His blue eyes looked grey, and his mouth was slightly agape. His arms laid limp at his sides. For the first time, he didn't look big and scary, like he could beat you up. He looked like a robot.

Sodapop didn't look too good, either. His tuff hair looked grey somehow, and his eyes which were usually bright and filled with life looked sad. He looked like he'd never be happy again. He was slouching, and his fingers wouldn't stop moving. I forgot the fact that he and Darry would both be loosing a brother.

Two Bit looked completely different. Usually his eyes would dance with joy, but his eyes looked hollow. His usual smile was replaced with a emotionless frown. He was looking at the ground, and his hands were in fists.

Steve looked different, too. For once, his hair wasn't done up in complicated swirls. His blue eyes were dark and angry. He was biting on his lip, and his knuckles were red.

I remembered that Steve didn't know about Ponyboy and I yet. I knew that I needed to tell him one day. He deserved to know that Ponyboy was going to die as mine and not his.

Dally somehow looked whiter than usual, and his blond hair looked like a rat's nest. He didn't look angry, if anything, he was eerily calm. No one should mess with Dally when he's calm.

It was scary how one huge event could change everyone's appearance and characteristics. It was scary how everyone was completely different, yet the same.

"Hey, Ponyboy," whispered Two Bit. He was calm and gentle. He reminded me of a butterfly.

There was no response.

His eyes didn't open. He didn't twitch or move at all. The only thing that showed that he was barely alive was the movement of his chest, and the slow beat of his heart monitor.

"We all miss you, buddy," said Sodapop through tears. I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we all miss you. Come back," I said, a bit loudly. Darry tried to hush me a bit.

There was no response.

"Can he even hear us?" I mumbled. I doubted it.

The door knob began to turn, and someone pushed it open. There stood the doctor, looking at us wearily.

He began to walk towards us slowly while reading something on his clipboard.

"Darrel Curtis?" he asked. Darry stood up.

"That's me. What is it?" he asked. I saw him gulp.

"We have some good and bad news," began the doctor. I began to prepare myself mentally.

He was going to tell us that Ponyboy was going to die, wasn't he? I felt tears forming.

"What is it?" questioned Sodapop out of nowhere. He was now standing next to Darry, scared and anxious. I saw Darry put his hand on Soda's shoulder.

"He's in a coma."