Think Again (Camren)

Cabello Pushes Jauregui Snaps

Lauren's PoV

I was so fucking stupid. I was a stupid mute. Camila wanted to know what it meant to me. She wanted to know that I've never felt so alive than I do when I'm with her. The sex wasn't just sex for me. It was so much more. I've never been in love. It scared me. And off all the people I had to go and fall in love with, it'd be her.

I thought about going to Camila's hockey game. I was dressed and everything. She was so excited about it. She loved her game. The rules would be different on this team. She couldn't wait to break them.

So there I was, dressed and ready to go. Go and cheer on the girl who had my heart. Instead, I found myself sitting at my desk, doing my math homework.

Nice move Jauregui.

I don't know how long I was sitting at my desk doing all my homework. Feeling thirsty, I made my way downstairs and stopped as I heard my Aunt laugh – hard.

"Oh honey, you two could get married now and Vic and I wouldn't protest!" I heard Aunt Greta say as I turned the corner to find her engaged in a conversation with Camila. I tried to be quiet as I made my way through the dining room. I decided to turn clumsy and stubbed my toe on one the chairs.

"Fuck." I muttered and froze as Aunt Greta asked me if I was okay. "Just a little pain, I can deal." I proceeded to the kitchen and grabbed the electric tea kettle.

"You sure you didn't break a toe?" Her voice surrounded the kitchen. A part of me wanted to relax as she was standing in the same room with me, given our earlier departure. The other part was uneasy with the whole situation.

I nodded, letting her know there were no toes broken. "So, you and Austin getting hitched?" I asked, plugging in the kettle after filling it up with water.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" She shot back, leaning against the counter, raising an eyebrow.

Hell no, I wouldn't like that.

I noticed that her hair was still slightly damp, her cheeks still rosy. Time sure flew by when you were doing school work, avoiding the problem. She must've been gone for at least 3 hours.

Her comment struck a nerve in me. I felt bile rise in my throat as the thought of Camila marrying Austin. I shook my head, "whatever," I breathed and reached in the cupboard for a tea bag. "How did the game go?" I asked, not looking directly at her. Somehow I knew opening that door would lead us to another intense moment. But I needed her to know I cared about her game, even if I was being the pussy that I was and didn't show up.

"Good," I could hear the smile in her voice, "great actually, I made the winning goal."

My eyes caught hers as I smiled. "That's awesome!" I made my way to hug her but she stepped back. Much like I did earlier. I stayed in my spot and eyed her. She didn't return my look, she just crossed her arms and made her way to the fridge, grabbing a juice box.

"Why weren't you there?" She asked me. Her tone was serious. I told you I opened the door. "I mean, I know things are a little weird right now but you promised." My heart ached as she placed her untouched juice box on the counter and turned to leave the kitchen.

"Camz," I softly grabbed her wrist and turned her back in my direction.

"You were the only person I wanted to share tonight with Laur," tears formed in her eyes, "I didn't want to be with Austin!"

I swallowed. "Then why were you?" I questioned.

"With Austin?" Camila raised an eyebrow, blinking back a few tears. "Because my ass of a girlfriend completely ignored me! God Lauren, Austin's my boyfriend yes, but he's not the one I'm wanting, why else would I be chasing you around!" Her eyes that were usually full of 'spirit' turned cold all of a sudden. "All you had to do was show up. That's it."

I hung my head. She was right. Whether we were in this situation or not, I still could've shown up and watched her play. Even I didn't make myself known, being there would've meant the world to Camila. "I'm sorry," I rubbed my forehead and whispered, "you're right."

"I know I'm right," she turned back on her heels and made her way to the foyer. Grabbing her coat she put it on. Stopping in her tracks, she stared at me as I desperately followed her. She was slipping away. I could feel it. "Wasn't it you who told me not to run away? Wasn't it you who said that if I did that, you'd have no choice but to walk away?" She raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"I..." I stuttered. She was right. She had every right to be mad and walk away from all of this. I wouldn't blame her if she did. "I..."

Camila's voice dropped to a shaky whisper as her voice quivered, "did Saturday mean anything to you? Do I mean anything to you?"

I felt my heart to flip flops. If I revealed too much, things could get even worse. I knew that I didn't want to lose Camila. I was so fucking in love with her.

Do I risk everything and tell her that?

Camila's voice broke through my silent inner turmoil. "I'm not asking you to marry me, I just want to know what that moment meant to you," she looked at me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes, her bottom lip quivering. She opened the door and the bitter cold hit me, as did her tearful voice, "because it meant everything to me."

Before I knew it, she was halfway to her vehicle. "Camila!" I yelled but she kept walking. I could hear sobs wracking her body. I didn't even have time to throw on a pair of boots before she carelessly sped out of the driveway.

I slammed the door in frustration and hatred towards myself. Turning around I was faced with Aunt Greta and Austin. "What?!" I snapped, not even realizing the tears that streamed down my own face. I pushed past my cousin and ran up to my room.