Think Again (Camren)

Dirty Little Secrets

Lauren's PoV

I stared at the ceiling; the only light in my room was from the snow clouds outside my window. I watched as the bare tree branches danced in their shadows above me. Closing my eyes, I focused on her breathing.

Camila fell asleep 15 minutes prior and I was having a hard time trying to calm every inch of my body down. Her fingers were splayed across my abdomen, sneaky things snuck under my t-shirt. Her whispers of declaring her love repeated over and over in my head before she fell asleep.

I sighed quietly and rubbed my eyes, wishing I were as tired as Camila was. Then again she had to be before sunrise to get to practice. I'd go with her, of course. I didn't want her driving by herself in snowy icy weather. Yes, that was my excuse. Deal.

Camila told me she hated being stuck between Austin and I. I knew I couldn't just allow her to be in the middle of things. I told her before we crawled under the sheets that she could break it off with Austin.

I'd just be her dirty little secret, she'd be mine, until Graduation. It was only the end of November, all we had to do was wait until June.

Right?

Wrong. Camila hated that idea as well. Things were so complicated I didn't know which way was up and which way was down. I had to go and fall for the girl who had a boyfriend already.

You could say it was typical of me to take girls home who weren't exactly single.

Poor Ally...if she felt anything towards me like the way I felt for Camila, I really trashed her heart when I told her I couldn't be with her anymore. Haven't spoken to her since I moved. She even found out about my cheating and still wanted to 'make it work'.

Shaking my head, I glanced over at the sleeping beauty beside me. I could tell she wasn't fully asleep by the way she breathed. It was exactly deep enough but she was getting there.

We were at a fork in our relationship already. I didn't like that at all.

We agreed to keep things the way they were for the time being until we could 'find the right time'. I knew there was no 'right time' to break up with a person. Camila insisted that she keep quiet so that I could graduate and make my parents proud. Did I mention how in love with her I am?

She really wanted to see me happy and if hiding us would do that, she'd do it. I could tell that she was still a little uncomfortable. Her chocolate eyes danced with uncertainty when she spoke about it. But she insisted and gave me her 'resolved' look, I dropped it.

For the time being.

I didn't want to be the cause in Camila's uncomfortable position. I knew I laid it on thick back in the library when I told her she couldn't break up with Austin. She was showing me that she really only wanted to be with me. That she was no longer confused in all the fucked up webs we've woven.

Camila Cabello really wanted to be with me.

Just me.

"Lo?" Her scratchy voice whispered and I inhaled sharply as her fingers began to stroke my stomach.

I turned my head and found myself staring into wide chocolate eyes. "I thought you were sleeping."

Camila chuckled softly and shook her head. "Who can sleep with your brain volume turned on so high?"

I smirked and playfully smacked her hip. "Sorry, my brain didn't mean to wake you up."

She shook her head again, in that adorable sleepy way. "I was drifting, but I wasn't asleep yet."