43: Birthday Wishes

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Ever since my little fight with Adam last night, I haven't been able to sleep well. My eyes are puffy from crying all night, and I wasn't in the mood to eat, so naturally, I'm really hungry. I check the bedside clock and sigh. It's two a.m. Meaning, in the next half hour, it's going to be my 21st birthday. I would generally be excited about my birthday, but I'm not in the mood. I'm still upset, even though Adam and I resolved things.

I'm upset about breaking up with Ian. Which is going to be hard. Adam gave me a week to do it. And we'll still be here during this week, meaning I'll have to break up with him over text or video chat. Which will look really bad on my part and it will make me look like a coward. I've really dug myself a big hole.

I get up and head downstairs to the kitchen to go find something to eat. Alda made Brazilian skirt steak with asparagus and garlic bread for dinner last night, but no one ate it since we were all too pissed to eat. I would eat it, but I'm not feeling steak at the moment. I look around in the fridge to find something fattening, but there's nothing but healthy stuff in there. Damn it, why do the Smiths have to eat healthy?

Having nothing junky to eat, I just settle for the garlic bread that Alda had made to go along with the steak. I grab the container that holds the bread and sit at the island and eat my heart out. 

Despite it being my birthday, I honestly don't feel like doing anything.  I'm too stressed about breaking up with Ian.  I'm too stressed that if I do break up with him, and end up with Adam, that our relationship won't actually work out and that I broke Ian's heart for nothing. 

My phone buzzes on the counter as I pick it up, wondering who could be calling me this early.  When I saw that the caller ID was Ian, my heart picked up it's pace.  I'm not ready to break up with him now!  I panic.  What do I do?  What should I say?  Why's he even calling me this early?  I pick up the phone before it gave its last ring. 

"Hello?"  I croak, clearing my throat and swallowing whatever's left in my mouth. 

"Happy Birthday!"  Ian's ecstatically says. 

The fact that he called me this early just to wish me that, breaks my heart even more.  He's too good to me and I don't even deserve it. 

"Thanks, but why are you up this early?"  I say, taking a bite out of another piece of garlic bread. 

He chuckles, "Well I was gonna call you at exactly midnight because I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday, but I overslept by accident.  So I hope I'm still the first one." 

This is just too much.  His words brought tears to my eyes.  Why is he so damn sweet? 

"Awe, thank you so much.  That means a lot to me."  I respond, my voice cracking.  "How'd you know it was my birthday?" 

"Carly told me."  He simply answers. 

I was going to respond, but now I'm full on crying.  I don't deserve a guy like Ian.  I'm not even sure why he likes me. 

"Hey, are you alright?"  He asks, after a long period of silence. 

I was going to lie and tell him no, but I'm already doing enough damage with the lie I'm keeping. 

"Ian, there's something I have to tell you..." I trail off, sniffing.  This is it, this is my moment to break up with him.  He doesn't deserve you, Elizabeth , so you're doing the right thing. 

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