Aiming Straight, Aiming True.

Chapter 34 - Breaking down

Arena took a deep shuddering breath, her skin still burning from where the poisonous powder had touched her skin. They had left the dark room, being kind by leaving the lamp behind.

She thought that the pain of losing her father Nicholas was the worst she could feel but she was wrong. That powder, that burning feeling consumed her and it was difficult to think. All she could  think of was that she wished it would stop. John had kept it up for hours switching the powder onto different parts of her flesh.

It was a relief when they agreed to stop. Once they had stopped, all her anger towards the men came back. She swore to herself that she wouldn't break down, they would not win. That was easier said than done though.

Every time that powder touched her, all her strength went out of her, it was horrible. All her rational thoughts disappeared and she could only think of pain or the wish that it would stop.  I shouldn't be so weak, she thought angrily. She kicked at her chair angrily, cursing herself and John and his gang.

I will kill Damon when I get out of here, she thought. His nerve, messing with me like that, I trusted him and he betrayed that trust. I should have known what he wanted when he just showed up out of the blue, she thought. How could I be so stupid, she thought as she kicked the chair again. 

It toppled slightly but didn't fall over. Arena took a long deep breath as she tried to calm herself. She couldn't lose it now, after everything she had suffered through. Meeting Hunter and Stephen, saving their lives, meeting Zach and Jade, losing her father and her home, moving to the castle and her confused feelings.  She had managed to keep her feelings locked deep down inside but now that she was alone with no distractions, they bubbled up. Her feelings consumed her, she was starting to feel overwhelmed.

If John were to try again with that powder, she wouldn't be able to take it, she would give in to get rid of the pain and her idiotic emotions. She wanted to scream, she wanted to punch Damon or John, anything to get rid of her anger, her confusion, her frustration at her stupid and weak emotions.

This is not how I should be feeling, I promised myself that I would never let my heart get in the way of what I want, she thought angrily. I refuse to act like a weak girl, allowing my emotions to cloud my judgment, she thought. She gripped the sides of the chair tightly, frustrated. I can't, I won't, she thought.

Hunter and Stephen are bad news, I shouldn't have gotten involved with them in the first place, if I had known what would happen, I would have left the prince and Hunter to save themselves, she thought.

Could you, could you have left them to die, her subconscious whispered. Arena growled in frustration, stomping her feet against the cold hard ground. The lamp cast shadows over the walls and she glared at the door on the far side of the room. It seemed so close but it was out of reach for her. She hated this feeling of being trapped, unable to help herself. Just waiting to be saved or give in to John and his gang.

She shivered as the shadows danced across the walls, closing in on her, waiting for her to crack. I will not crack, I will not, she thought.

Give in, give up, no one can save you,  no one cares.

" Shut up", she hissed at the voice that surrounded her. " I'll get out of this, I will never give up", she hissed.

How, where are the boys that supposedly care about you, admit that for once your heart is winning.

" They do care about me, we're friends but I can get out of this mess myself and my heart has no say in my choices", Arena hissed.

The voice that surrounded her, laughed.