Without regrets [redwood book 2]

Chapter eighteen

I take a deep breath and walk out before I change my mind. I have to do it now or I would never.

When I reach the front room, everyone is already there. They all look to him when I enter, I almost change my mind. I push my shoulder backwards and put my head back.

I know I have the upper head and I can embarrass his ass like he did to be in the kitchen but I don't. That's the petty thing I would have done couple weeks ago. Hurt them because they hurt me.

The thing is even though I don't want to, I care about him still. I care about all of them. They had been good to me even though they practically kidnapped me. Charlotte had treated me like a daughter and friend, the boys excluding Lex had been welcoming and nice to me.

I wish Enzo had came tonight but I knew he was visiting his brother Vinnie. I want to see him one more time, to say goodbye. Maybe I don't have to cut all ties with everyone. Enzo is tech genius I know he would find me if he wants to.

"Cameron can I talk to you privately"

I am so proud that I sound so brave and confident. Glad that my voice isn't breaking.

He is sitting next to his uncle and father but when I speak, he finally looks up. His eyes move on my face a bit before he nods and gets up.

I send everyone a weak smile trying to ease their worry. The worry that is pasting everyone's face.

It is awkward. I follow Cameron as he leads us to the back of the house. He opens a door and we enter this room. It is a good size room, the walls are painted blue, the curtains are black and the floor is carpeted.

It is a normal boy's room. Some books on the shelf above the bed, a desk on the far corner next to the window and a green bin bag at another corner. There was tv on the wall opposite the bed and game console connection to it. There were cool car posters on the wall, pictures of his family and friends on another shelf near his desk.

I'm guessing this is his childhood room. It is cute and boyish yet neat and cosy. I smile softly trying to imagine him as a young boy.

"So what did you want to talk about?"he asks breaking me out from observing his old room and thinking about kid him.

I look at back him, he still has that annoying blank look about him and for some reason it just pisses me off.

"This isn't working out"I blurt.

Damn it!

I wanted to do this gently not coldly. I wanted to convince him that there is no hard feelings between us.

His eye brows furrows and he waits for em to continue.

"I'm leaving"I say.

His blankness moves for a second and I see confusion and hurt before he snaps it back to the emotionless look.

"What?"he asks as if daring for me to repeat myself.

I could never stay down from a dare so I tell him again.

"This"I gesture at between us "isn't working out."

"Ryan"he starts.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want my life back. I want to go back to my old life"

"What life?"he splits. "You're mum is in jail and you work as a mechanic part time. You have no friends and you can't even keep a second job. You are practically broke, you had bills overdue and you could barely take care of yourself"

"Oh and you think you can take care of me?"

"Haven't I?"

"This is depressing. Even though you say I'm not your prisoner, I still feel like I am. I'm not free to go anywhere not without a babysitter"