You kept me waiting Long enough Jane volturi's mate

Austin

April's P.O.V.

It's been nearly a week now since I started my training, and trying to find my inner flame, and nothing has worked.
I've had a vision Every night for the near week, only getting a few hours of sleep and Every vision Has been of the past.

I have seen the day my mother was turned, and father. and to say it was an emotional time would be an understatement,

I've seen the day that my grandmother and grandfather 1st met, and when they were both turned. And how aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper met, And the things they both endured.

To say that I do not feel for my family and the things they have been through would be me lying, I have cried, and cried.

I know they told me of their backgrounds and their stories, but the things I Have seen are unlike anything I thought possible,
How aunt Alice and grandma can be such kind souls after what they've been through is beyond me. but I'm glad they are who they are and are so kind.

Galya and I Have tried everything to get control over my powers, to find my inner flame but nothing has worked, And they grow stronger with each passing day. Which worries Gayle and my family, and i would be lying if I said I didn't share those worries.

It's strange, With Each day that passes I feel different, weird and I can't explain it.
I haven't brought this up to anyone, not even Jane, I don't want to worry anyone.
though I think she might know, But if she does she would have brought it up by now. I think.

I don't know why I feel different everyday. One day my body will be really hot, and the next cold. but everyday the same weird feeling courses through my body, And it feels as if it grows stronger though I'm not sure.?

It feels like this weird bubbly wave throughout my body, starting in the middle of my chest, and going all the way to my toes and tips of my fingers.
I'm not sure if it has to do with my powers, the lack of sleep, and body and mind tiredness, or combination of all.

But what I do know is that my body and mind are both tired, And with each day I grow more tired.
My body changes, And that Weird wave feels like it find a new part of my body, But I have tried my best to keep it hidden, from the others, from my family.
they are all worried about me as it is, I don't want to Grow their worries. even though mine do.

So I pretend like everything is fine, when it's not.

yesterday while I was Going over crystals with Galya I felt lightheaded, And almost dropped one of them but I quickly Got ahold of myself But it did not go unnoticed by Her or the others, But I let them know I was ok though I could see that they thought otherwise.

The wolves like usual have not been very nice and they've made it very clear how they feel about me, and Galya.
especially Sam, who has grown a little impatient waiting for me to learn to control and has asked 20 times each day when I will and for me to hurry up. which has frustrated me, and I have almost Said Fuck it and thrown him into a tree, but I have stopped myself Cause he is Austin's father, and if I were to attack him it would cause problems because he is there 'Alpha'

Honestly the man has become a thorn in my side, and does not help. but there is nothing that I can do about it, Even though there are many ideas that I have on how I could.

Austin, on the other hand has been one of my biggest supporter throughout this,
He's the 1st one to tell Sam to be quiet when I am trying to learn control, He's like my very own cheerleader, And it brings a bright smile to my face and makes me more happy in all of this.

But no one has made me more happy throughout These past few days Like Jane, Our relationship has grown stronger and better since we both apologize, And I would be lying if I said we haven't been going at it like wild rabbits, Mainly on Jane's part.