Fire and Ice - (Bucky Barnes x OC) 18+

Chapter 37

Yuri gripped her jaw so tight it hurt, fingers digging into the sides of her cheeks.

"You're mine, you vill never have that picket life fence with him. You belong to this organisation, to me." He leaned in so close she scrunched her face in disgust at his words, and presence.

"You are a weapon, the greatest i have ever made," His lips traced the shell of her ear, his hand trailed across her abdomen and teased the rim of her waistband.

Darkness swirled around and suddenly she found herself lying on a medical table in the centre of a room filled with doctors, and Pierce barking orders. There was so much blood the smell of it filled her senses.

"Pull it out!" The doctor worked quickly with steady hands to slice at her skin and remove the bullet that had lodged itself in her stomach. She screamed from the pain and felt multiple hands holding her body down, keeping her from thrashing about.

"Heal yourself, Illyria." Pierce's command came once the bullet was out. She felt her magic working on its own volition, spreading through to find where she was injured and surround it in a warm light. Pierce nodded in approval, looking down at her.

The next thing she felt was pain rippling through her head while holding onto arm rests till her knuckles turned white. Screams echoed the dull lit room and a flash of solid white burned her vision. Tony's face filled with fear—fear of her as darkness wrapped its dark ropes around his heart. Bucky's swollen bloody face as he let her pound her fist against it over and over again. More pain rippled across her body and blood surrounded her senses.

Alex gasped upright with deep panting breaths, her grip on the covers tight while eyes darted left and right in the dark, taking stock of where she was. When the smell of lavender hit her nose, she released a shuddering breath. Rubbing her chest soothingly, Alex exhaled slowly falling back against the bed. She stared at the ceiling with one hand tangled in her hair. The nightmare left her unsettled and in a panic but thankfully she didn't scream herself awake. 

Her heart beat faster than normal, pounding against her ribcage while muscles contracted with each breath. There was a build up of energy but the danger was only a mental fiction, so the energy had no outlet, it could only feed back to her mind and create even more anxious thoughts. With a sigh, Alex sat up and tugged the covers to her chest, whispering reassuring statements she'd started doing thanks to Shuri.

"I am free—I am Alexandra Stark—I know who i am,"

She repeated them like a chant a few times in-between each slow breath till she calmed down. Looking to the side, Alex noticed the clock on her bed-side table and groaned realising she'd only had two hours of sleep. She ran a hand over her face, tucking a strand behind her ear. It was clear there wouldn't be any more sleeping on her part, so she got up and headed downstairs. 

The silent hallways were a blessing, but no matter where her eyes landed, memories of what she'd done hit her like a reel that wouldn't stop spinning. Despite knowing that she wasn't in control, that she had no choice, it was her hands that pulled the trigger, threw grenades and wielded magic against her friends and family. 

She couldn't shake the fact she'd brought them all down and injured two of them so badly they took months to heal. Not to mention that she'd come real close to crushing her brothers heart in the physical sense. Alex found herself scared of what she was possible of for the first time in her life. She wasn't supposed to be an evil person, but it seemed that's all she'd been used for. That no matter what good she tried to do, the darkness always won.

Taking down a glass from the kitchen cupboards, Alex filled it with water and gulped down a few mouthfuls. The cool liquid going down her throat eased some of the tension lingering in her body. She hated how vivid her dreams were, sometimes it was hard to decipher dream from reality. Especially when she was prone to having visuals from the angels, which thankfully she didn't have for a while. They always brought on headaches she'd rather not deal with.

Alex slid her gaze to the double glass doors that led to the garden Tony had made for her, it was repaired to its beautiful glory again. She abandoned the drink and headed over, seeing the moon casting a wonderful glow over the ground. The stream and fountains glistened like clear quartz under the goddesses rays. A few new flowers had been planted too, and the sudden image of Tony gardening made her smile, even tho she knew he would never get his hands dirty in that way. There were always people he could pay to handle those tasks.

Despite all the destruction she'd caused, he still managed to keep this place beautiful, and for that, she was beyond grateful.

Alex gripped the handle and twisted, pushing the door outwards. The crisp cool breeze of way-too-early morning hit her skin, blowing locks of hair backwards when she walked out. She raised her face to the sky and basked in the moons light. The magic within the rays felt grounding as she stood bare footed against the grass. 

Lost in the nightmare craze, she'd forgotten to slip her feet into slippers before coming downstairs. Tho, at times it seemed the cold didn't bother her much like it used to.

Alex brought her head forwards and looked around, gaze landing on the place she'd fought with Bucky. Suddenly the cold seemed to bother her now, it seeped in and a feeling of dread added to it.

He didn't deserve any of that...she thought.

The memory of getting shot plagued her. It was different to the countless other times she'd been shot; through torture or training. Unlike those times, this time she'd had no control over herself so the scary thought that she truly could've died washed over her. Instinctively Alex placed a hand against her stomach then glanced down. The anxiety began to fester. 

She couldn't stop the vivid flashes showing her how Bucky's face was full of panic afterwards. How broken his voice was when he begged her to stay with him. Alex remembered everything and it had her welling up with tears. No matter where she looked, the imagery played out as if she stood in a live simulation.

She squeezed her eyes shut at the feeling of her chest tightening. A deep breath in and out as gold magic swirled a comforting embrace around her tired mind saw her calming down. When she opened her eyes, fresh grass, blooming flowers and a peaceful atmosphere surrounded her.

Alex felt the gentle breeze caress her skin and found herself eternally grateful to be back to who she was truly meant to be.