Fire and Ice - (Bucky Barnes x OC) 18+

Chapter 61

"Babe, you seem okay...a little too okay," Natasha said catching Alex in the hallway.

It had been a few weeks since Bucky gave himself up to Sharon, and the team worked tirelessly ever since trying to locate her whereabouts. But nothing was popping up. Besides the broadcasts noting the return of the Winter Soldier causing a panic amongst the people in the world, they had nothing to go off—not even a crumb.

Alex saw the broadcasts, she could feel the panic roaring in the many souls out there. And everyday it made her die a little more inside. Her emotions had been all over the place, she spent most of her time in the research room trying to find something. But Sharon had tech to scramble their locations making it seem like she was in different places at the same time.

Tony kept Fury away from Alex because he didn't want world war three in the compound, and everyones gaze always fell on her when she entered any room. She hated their puppy-eyed sorrowful looks. The sympathetic glances and the questions of "are you okay" She wasn't okay. She was far from okay but one thing she was good at, was masking.

Alex looked at her bestfriend, at the woman who had been trying like hell to be there for her.

"Well, isn't that a good thing?" she asked in reply.

"No...it's weird Alex. You went from being pissed off—i even heard you crying the same night it happened...to completely fine, as if nothing happened at all."

Alex scoffed, looking away for a moment. "What good is it going to do if i mope around. hmm? Is it going to bring him back? No. So as you can see, your bestfriend is perfectly fine." She assured, bringing her gaze down to where Natasha's hand was holding her forearm in a gentle grip. Alex's gaze was a subtle warning to let go, and Natasha sighed, doing so.

"I just...i don't want you to bottle up those emotions, it's not okay, Alex." There was concern in her green eyes.

"Thanks for worrying Nat, but i'm fine." Alex smiled, but it was forced and too quick. She turned and walked away, but Natasha wasn't done. Jace had begged her to try and get through, because Alex wasn't listening to anyone. She'd shut everyone out.

"Wait!"

Alex kept walking, and Natasha ran to keep up.

"You gotta stop pretending that you're okay," she said.

"But i am okay." Alex's facial features moved in a way that emphasised her words, brows arching then settling. Natasha made her stop walking by gripping both her shoulders.

"Alex listen to me...you're never going to help yourself if you don't feel it."

Alex scoff at the audacity. "I can't feel anything for someone who isn't here." There was so much bite to her words. She said them, looking Natasha dead in the eyes and the black widows lips parted. She looked as if she'd just been slapped.

"I know how much Bucky means to you."

Hearing his name, Alex felt the twinge inside her heart—the pain she felt every-damn-night.

She shook her head. "I don't want to hear it."

Natasha released her and continued anyway, she needed to break through this wall.

"I know that when he holds you it makes you smile so wide. Or when he surprises you with flowers from the garden, and books—or when he makes those silly faces that you pretend to hate because he acts like a nerd."

"Stop it." Alex warned her, lips quivering as she looked away.

"Or how he always tells you he loves you, and wishes you goodnight in his arms. How he touches you with love, and the way he kisses you on your forehead to comfort you, and-"