Unspoken words in proses.

Untitled

They said 'We do not miss the person, but just the things that they made us feel. Yet why does it feels like it is not the case? For I just did not miss the feeling; but also you. Perhaps it is because some of those feelings were forgotten by me for how long I have been longing for you; or perhaps it is because I would carelessly– wholeheartedly accept any feelings you would be willing to offer to me just so you get back in my arms again. How pathetic, right? I guess no matter how many prose and words I'd do, it wouldn't be still enough to tell you how much I miss you.

Yet I still cannot deny that up until now it hurts whenever my friends mentions your name; it still hurts to hope for more than we have right now– for more than just being strangers. I will admit– I am so tempted to let go; to move on, to carry on. But silly destiny, everytime I plan, it would make you cross path wih me again. And then when I decided to hope for more than what we currently are— this destiny would swiftly take you away from me. It hurts, badly hurts to keep holding onto you– but it would tear me as hell if I would just let go of you.

So now here I am in the situation where I got stuck between holding onto you; or letting myself be drown into blues.