Unspoken words in proses.

To become cognizant of something. (Cognizance)

⁰¹/⁰¹/²⁴

Indeed that time flies really fast.

I went from having so much of roller coaster emotions to figuring it all out in the end; as if like I were in a maze hopelessly looking for a way out of it until I just found myself standing from the exit after an exhausting battles I faced to win this game. If I were think about it, I would like to forget that those bad things has happened to me; but it also makes me think that it is such a coward move.

As blue as the sky, my year has been that sorrowful, indeed; yet I come into a conclusion that it does not mean a bad future ahead of me. Like how the river flow, I would just need to dance through the waves of this ocean of melancholy until I have found answers to the questions of 'why?'; why did I experience such things? Why I felt these things? A lot of 'whys' that has been dragging me to the lowest. I have been questioning even the destiny of why did it play with my feelings, but in the end— I seemed to realize that I had to go through lots of things to remind myself that I am this naive to think I already know about everything.

'Right, I know nothing. About love, about life, about everything.'

I know nothing about everything— I know nothing about this world I lived in hence it gave me circumstances that would break me; not to hurt me but to offer a better version of myself— to at least know something. Little by little, I finally realized that those 'bad' things I called wasn't made to make my life miserable— rather to build a new me that could make difference this time.

I admit that I was blinded only by the fact that I was hurt and broke this year— to the point where I forgot that the valuable lessons anyone can receive— is the most painful one. Nontheless, I know better now; I know now that sometimes, pain and suffering mainly does not make one's experience traumatic; but rather indicates that you have a long way to go; a long path to walk, and a long lessons to learn.