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People often asked me what is my ideal type of men. Growing up, I didn't really think I am just worthy of anyone's love— so when they asked me, I couldn't answer directly yet. Perhaps because I always thought I am too young to bother thinking of romance? And yet as I grew up, this question is becoming annoying to my ears. I took my time thinking deeply of what I want my future lover to be. First, I want him to be as religious as I am— to hold his hands up and worship Christ for everything that I have. I want him to love himself so I could love him. I want him to show me that he can respect women; that he can be a responsible son and a kind brother. Perhaps I also want him to be strict in everything that I do? For I know I needed help to be the best version of me; I want him to grow with me. Sounds funny it seems, but that are the few things that I want him to be.
I do still wonder if there are still men who possessed the traits that I want about a lover, but I know they are just hiding behind the bush in a corner of this little playful world. But hey, the truth is I also believe that those so-called 'Ideal types' are bunch of ideas we hope we soon get; but I am sure that if our heart beats for anyone, it couldn't be stop anymore— even when they do not reach the 'standard' we set—we sure are going to be crazy in love. Very confusing, isn't it? We might fall with traits that we didn't even know we could love. So, if ever I find a man who just can simply be himself and make my heart beats rapidly for the very first time, I guess I wouldn't mind loving him; no matter if he possess the traits I said, or not. For I am sure that if Cupid took his arrow and shot, no one could avoid it— neither those who promised themselves to only live alone forever.
Perhaps those are the very reasons why I sometimes do not prefer to elucidate my ideal type; perhaps those are the very reasons why I often got stuck in silence when people ask me such things. For I could never dictate my heart hen it started to desire love from someone I did not even know why I love. Maybe I could just fall for a simple guy living quietly in a town with only his sunflower-filled garden, without a second thought; without me remembering all the traits I'd like him to posses.
Maybe I just simply want to love a person by the way they are— and just love them in the way they could be.
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Unspoken words in proses.
Non-FictionWelcome to Cm_rhii's own world of unspoken words compiled in proses. In this book, you will read the writer's unsaid emotions as she writes about the things she experienced.
