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Maybe I'm not that strong to take all the pain and sufferings rooted from choosing to leave for my own sanity. Many says that I am so strong for doing so, but the truth is, I have built the courage to let go for years before doing so. And yet it still hurts like hell. I wish I didn't have to do this, but the flowers in my garden are already devoid of life; they have to be taken care of and I have to focus on them so they could bloom again. My eyes were wet from the tears flowed down on my cheeks as I read the letter I left for you; know that I never— ever want this thing to happen, but it has to. Countless of needles are stroking each inch of my skin as I tried to slowly lift my feet up and step away from you. I have spent half of my life convincing myself that it was never hard to leave; but now that I have to finally try it, I guess I was just naive to think like that. For it is so damn hard to even not look back at those times where we spent the remaining of our voice to shout and laugh together while walking in the side walk to go home from an exhausting trip from school. I would always remember that, you know? And I guess that is the very reason why it is now harder to not let go. You have a hold of my heart, and yet God seem to have a different route for us, so I took it as a sign to just leave; even when my heart felt like have lost its beat.
May I also ask for a favour? Could you please keep the prose I made you? So at least I left a single space in your heart. Though you have the right to forget and to move on as well, but could you not blame yourself for everything that happened? I am aware that you are hurting, too; I am aware that my words stabbed you, too. But please take it as a reminder that even when it pained us to do such thing, at least we know we choose the right route to go on; even when it led us to a different pathway to a place where we could not see each other. Thank you for letting me choose myself this time; I know it is also hard for you to understand me but you somehow did. We might be going to walk past each other the next time we go to the same place, but I still want to look and give you a smile to remind you that even fate had a different plan for us, I still cherished you with all my heart.
YOU ARE READING
Unspoken words in proses.
Non-FictionWelcome to Cm_rhii's own world of unspoken words compiled in proses. In this book, you will read the writer's unsaid emotions as she writes about the things she experienced.
