Everything Will Be Just Fine (Completed)

35. What Tumor ?

"How are you doing, Alexandra ? Ready for this ?" Dr. Stevens asks me with me with a tight smile.

"I'm fine, even though I feel a bit stressed about this." I admit. I told William I was getting healed, but I didn't say to him what the risks are.

The tumor is in my chest, near my heart and lungs. There is a possibility that during the operation, my heart might stop beating and, well, I might die. But I didn't tell my little brother that.

I refused to let anyone come with me, except Billy. I said goodbye to Kate, Embry, Quil and William yesterday before coming here. Jacob was with Bella, I don't even think he knows I'm getting operated today.

"Don't worry, Dr. Cullen knows his job. And just in case, I'll be here to make sure he's doing it right." she says while winking at me, surely to make me laugh.

I manage to smile. I might put a brave face on in front of my friends and family, but I can't at the hospital, in front of the doctors. Maybe it's because I'm closer to the reality of it.

"When will I go in the operating room ?" I ask her.

"Around 3PM. Remember, you can't eat before, but drink a lot and rest. I heard there is some really good series on the channel 6. Look it up." she tells me before leaving the room.

*****

It's time. I shift uncomfortably in the hospital bed while I wait for Dr. Stevens and Cullen to come in. I look at the ceiling and think of anything but what is going to happen in less than an hour.

Billy strolls in the room and comes to my right, taking my hand. "You're brave, you know ? I couldn't have done it, I would've been too afraid of what could happen. You're brave, Alexandra Cooper." he states and kisses my hand.

I press his hand and smile softly at him. "Thanks for being here, Billy."

"Anything for my only niece." he answers back. "I will have something to tell you, once you're awake after the operation."

"Can't you tell me now ? I mean, there is a chance that I might not make it..."

He cuts me off abruptly. "Don't speak like that. You have to be positive, to be sure that you will make it and that your body will fight. I'll tell you when you wake up." His tone is final and I know that I won't be able to change his mind. I wonder if I should tell him about the weird visions I had about three weeks ago... It's not really intelligent : let's wait for after.

"Fine." I grumble which makes him chuckle.

"Impatient, just like your mother."

Dr. Stevens stumbles in with Dr. Cullen. "Ready to go ?" she asks, pulling the bed's bars down. She pushes the bed a bit and stares down at me, waiting for my answer.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

*****

Paul's POV

I'm miserable. Alexandra hasn't tried talking to me and it's been ONE freaking month. I hate this situation, I wish I could go to her house, be in front of her, take her in my arms and never let her go.

I just wish she would talk to me so that I can know her thoughts. Even if it's to tell me nothing will ever happen between us. Even if I have to let her go. I just want her to tell me she's alright.

Embry was talking with his imprint, Katherine, who is Alexandra's best friend, apparently. I stare at those two and imagine that it could be my own imprint and I, talking, laughing, kissing... I shake these thoughts out of my mind and go back to glaring at the ground.

We're sitting in Emily's kitchen. As usual, the whole pack eats here and today is no different.

I play with my fork and knife, hearing every word Embry and Katherine are saying.

"I hope everything will go smoothly. I mean, she didn't let anyone, except Billy, come ! What if she doesn't make it and we have to learn it from her uncle !" Katherine says to Embry, pushing her hair back.

"She'll be fine, Kate. Don't stress too much."

"How can you tell me not to stress when Alex is probably dying right now ?" she snaps at him and I freeze.

"What did you say ?!" I growl at her.

"Hey ! Don't talk to her like that, she's..." Embry starts.

"Shut up. What did you say ?" I repeat and see her confusion in her eyes.

"Didn't Alex tell you that she's getting operated today ?"

"I haven't talked to her since mid February."

"But... she swore to me that she had talked to you..." she says, her eyes widening.

"Where is she ?"

"At the hospital." Embry tells me. "She's getting operated to remove her tumor."

"What tumor ? Why..." I begin but then stop as soon as I get it.

She has cancer. And I'm not there for her.