𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐈

~Fall~

-"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."-

-Sylvia Plath
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Midnight's POV

I was never a religious person.

All my life this 'God' denied me of my well-deserved happiness.

I had suffered for peace. I had suffered for love. I had suffered all my life just to be back to square one. I hoped that one day I would learn that the universe and this 'God' didn't have mercy on anyone.

Because if this 'God' loved me then he wouldn't have made me who I am.

"God sends his toughest battles to the strongest soldiers."

I was sixteen.

I was not supposed to be a soldier. I was supposed to be a kid.

God might love you but he sure as hell doesn't love me.

He didn't love Luca. He didn't love Thea. He didn't love Ida and Starr. He didn't love Blade, Antonio, or Matteo. And he most definitely didn't love Oscar. Oscar has survived and done some things that I would have never been able to do. We all did. We were the sinners that were "meant for hell". We were the outcasts that society shunned.

We were the lambs to the slaughter.

And tonight would be our butchering. My butchering.

We were supposed to raid the warehouse where they were keeping Thea in a few minutes and I didn't need any distractions. I told Blade to have everyone meet there. Blade could tell something was off from the tone of my voice but didn't say anything.

I loved him like a brother

The same thing went for Ida, Matteo, Starr, Antonio, Thea, and Oscar. They were my first real family in a long time. They were the ones that taught me that Blood doesn't make a family.

But the person who taught me love and happiness...was none other than the Don himself.

I didn't know I was capable of loving him in the way that I do. Today went by like a dream. I don't remember much but it felt like I experienced so much. I said my goodbyes even though no one knew it.

I sparred with Antonio and Matteo. I gave Blade my favorite gun except I didn't tell him it was my favorite. I gave Oscar a promise. I played chess with Starr and played darts with Ida. I held Luca for an extra minute and told him we could go to dinner after the raid tonight.

I lied to him one last time.

There is no other way to explain the way I love him than what I'm about to tell you.

I would die for him. I would live for him. I got addicted and don't want to go to rehab.

But now I'm letting go. I'm going to get sober.

For the sake of them...

~

I got dressed in all black, strapping weapons to my thighs. It was not like I was going to use them but it had to look like I was putting in an effort.

I swung my leg over my motorcycle and straddled the seat before I sped off to the warehouse where they were keeping her. Ten minutes into the ride, two black range rovers with a capital gold K were following me.

They didn't know who Alexei was and that he had been the one behind every bad thing that had happened. I couldn't tell them right now. I need it to seem like it was a complete shock and that he had won.