misery

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Chapter-22 misery.

"Ayaat! Please have some dinner don't do this to yourself" Yumna says feeding me dinner.

I gesture saying no.

"Why?" She yells.

"I'm not in a mood" I yell back in a distinctive way "...as well as I'm sleepy Yumna, please let me go and sleep" I add dragging myself up to the room...

"What happened to her suddenly?" Zoya asked Yumna.

"I fucking don't know what's wrong with her!!" She sounds irritated.

I turn back and walk in the kitchen to drink a glass of cold water.

I drink and was about to go but I stopped, turned back and stand near them..they look completely blank. I force myself to smile and hugged them to make them understand that nothing happened. I really do just need some space.

They too give a weak smile and I went to my room finally.

I close the door and sits down beside my bed crossing my arms around my legs.

How happy might the air is.. which is wriggling around, can go anywhere they want to.. doesn't care about where they are going and hitting.

I bend my head down in frustration.
I can hear Yumna talking with someone I see her shadow which is coming near my room.

"Ayaat!" She knocks.

I didn't give her any response so she came in and sits beside me.

"It's my fault," she says looking at the floor.

I look at her completely blank...and stabs my eyes on the floor.

She sighs "it was my plan to create the situation..where you can spend more time with him."

My gaze shifts at her.

"Ayaat! I recognized the wide smile of yours which wasn't plastered it was from your heart... From past one year you are somewhere lost. We asked you countless times but you didn't tell us... every single time or day you've been killing your happiness aside as if you buried it.." Yumna pause.

I swallow and my vision gets teary.

"We used to enjoy much but you didn't... You every time pretends to but sometimes you actually used to forget everything but soon you recollected and then you kept quiet and pretended again to make us feel that you are enjoying for the sake of me and Zoya... I'm with you since 6years and I know everything about you..when you laugh, when you smile you didn't openly do.. there's something in your eyes which indicates happiness but most something that you hide..." Yumna says and cups my face with her soft palms.

I look at her.. my eyes fill with tears and rolls down. She wipes it with her thumb.

"Ayaat, from the day Arhaan met you.. since that accident you have changed.. the girl who doesn't care about anything even doesn't care of herself.. suddenly started caring about someone and that too you just met him only a few days ago.," she says and gives a nod to Zoya and then I realized that she's standing there at the door from so long.

she came in and give my plate to Yumna and sits beside us.

I sniff. Zoya gives me a tissue box.

Yumna wiped my tears and feed me food with her hands. I look at her with teary eyes and open my mouth to eat.

"I just spoke to Arhaan he told me what happens at the door what he said and all.." she says while dining my food.

"Mmhm" I nod.

"You need to run from your nightmares Ayaat till how long you are going to endure dear."

I nod again and takes a deep breath.

Zoya gives me a glass of water. And I take a few sips.

"You landed softly like a butterfly on a brick wall, you didn't need to knock it down. You turned something strong into something beautiful and that was more than enough" Zoya says holding my chin up to face her.

I inhaled deeply and passionately. I am not sure if I can make it, still, I can try to get through my horrible nightmares.

I hug them passionately. I couldn't able to control my tears and starts crying. The tears of sorrows and happiness.

"Thank you," I say from the bottom of my heart. "You both are my shoulders through which I cannot balance, who guides me every time.. may Allah bless you and grant you Jannah, "I say feeling the glitters in my eyes and lights in my path.

"I guess we are your shoulder just for some time and then there'll be Arhaan instead of Yumna and Zoya" Zoya giggles.

"No, it's not like that" I blush.

They both look at me "lier" they both say and hugs me again.

I have gone through many drastic changes in my life.. when I used to feel happy I could not last from within. It's just a matter of seconds which lies in me and then it vanishes.

I certainly feel so depressed and feel like crying my lungs out... doctors recommend me to take rest and gave me antidepressants pills still I don't know which thing always bothers me. It's like I'm forgetting something- someone important.

I'm really glad to have such best friends. Who knows me very well and always be there by my side. I'm really happy and lucky to have them.

"So yeah! that's the reason why we planned to leave you with Arhaan."Yumna says.

"Did you said to him that he's a hazelnut?" Zoya asks.
"Not yet" I sigh.

"Yes, he's my hazelnut, Who went away from me when I needed him the most. Since so long he didn't bother to meet me at least he could call me right!? but no! he didn't... I guess he forgot me... and now I don't even know that he still remembers me or not... but yes I do remember him.." I say more to myself but I hope he remembers me or my name at least.
____

I hear the notification from my phone. I bend and take my mobile and unlock it.

Oh! It's our psychology group.

It's Daniel's message..he has invited us all to his birthday party tomorrow.
At the end of the message, he says "I would like to invite my pumpkin especially ;)"

I roll my eyes reading that message.

That's what Danyal calls me a pumpkin.ah!now it's a new misery.
He is such a jerk!

I kept the mobile aside and lied on my bed, covered myself with my favourite comfort and falls asleep.
____

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