My Mate is Married?

Chapter 41

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Seneca POV

I've been laying in this lonely bed for I don't know how long. I feel like my whole body has a weight on top of it and it's holding me down.

Most of the day I stay curled up in fetal position. I feel like crying but nothing will come out. It's almost as if I'm too sad too even cry now.

My mom has taken on most of the caring for May now. The two of them only come by my room once a day together to bring me lunch. And during that time I manage to fake a smile and sit up on the bed for May's sake.

About a week ago my mother had been bringing May to see me three times a day with each meal. But she was slowly realizing that I didn't have the mental strength to have them their that many times.

My mother came to talk to me alone about it and I agreed that I didn't want May to see me like this. She also tried talking to me about what was 'wrong' with me and reminding me that we were here to keep May safe.

The logical side of me comprehends all this. But I can't ignore the feelings I have inside me. The sadness and pain and the let downs. Plus I'm still not 100 % sure that everything Miles has told me is correct. I mean he lied to me our entire life together. What would stop him now.

He still tries to connect with me. He sleeps in bed with me every night. He tries to snuggle close to me but I always turn away. It's hard to get far away from him being that we're in a twin bed but I try.

He continues to talk to me and try to pull me out of this state. At night he rubs my back slowly and talks softly to me. Well knowing,  I won't answer.

I really don't even know what to say to him. But I know that it just feels wrong and I don't have the energy to fight that feeling.

Today has been a worse day for some reason. I feel this anxiousness inside me more than ever.
I've felt depressed and lonely, but this feeling hasn't been here before. Up until now I've been content to stay in this bed curled up and wallow. But now I have this feeling like I need to get out. I need to get to somewhere.

I wonder if I can slip past the guards somehow. Ahh who am I kidding. I tried that route the first week we were here and I was stopped immediately. I initially scooped out the place and noticed that there are cameras literally everywhere.

I had to convince miles to remove the one in my room telling him a was worried his men would watch me get undressed.

Plus the place has 24 hour security guards at every exit and from listening to miles talk to the other men I can tell that he has people outside surrounding the place as well.

So I'm definitely not getting out of here. I finally stood up out of my bed and began pacing the room. I was starting to feel trapped.

The feeling was overwhelming. I need to get out of here. I started throwing the things around me.

First My comforter, pillows, then led to picture frames and last the tv on the wall.

Now I was angry. Angry that I had to be here. Here stuck in this place. I started screaming letting out every bit of emotion I could.

Of course this caught miles attention or maybe one of his guards heard the ruckus and called him.

He opened the door and I began throwing the things that were already on the floor in his direction. One after the other letting my frustration out on him finally.