5 years ago, I lost my best friend. All because he confessed his feelings for me and I over thought things. I was left on my own only to realize too late that the feelings were mutual.
Now, I vow to love the next guy wholeheartedly, with no reserva...
My head hurt so much. Shit. I slowly opened my eyes. The glare of the sun causing a splitting headache.
"Hey Gulf." I hear a woman's voice.
I tried to open my eyes wider. Diane is still here? Isn't it morning. I tried to search for my phone."What time is it?"
"It's still very early Gulf, but I need to go ahead." Diane said by the door.
"I thought you went home last night?" I said trying to remember my last thoughts.
"You didn't let me Gulf. You said you didn't want to be alone on a Friday night." Diane said.
I did? "I'm sorry you had to stay." I said. I didn't want to add to her problems.
"It's okay Gulf. Thanks for listening to my frustrations too. But I need to go now. I still need to sort out some things." She said already prepared to leave.
"Thanks Diane. Let me know if you need financial help or even a job. I can make some calls." Diane left. I tried to stand up.
Fuck this headache. I dragged myself to the bathroom and washed my face. I got some aspirin from the medicine cabinet, then went to the kitchen for some water. I took the medicine and turned to the living room. Shit. I have a lot to clean up. I gathered the empty beer cans. How can I drink this much? Oh yeah. I missed Mew so much I wanted to drown myself wih alcohol. Diane was actually good company. She distracted me with her own problems. I have been putting meeting her off but finally conceded yesterday. She had been wanting to talk to me regarding the result of the DNA paternity test. I am not the father. I kind of knew that so it wasn't really a surprise. She still doesn't know who the father is though. She also has problems with her modeling agency. She had been dropped off since she hasn't been present for quite sometime. Her issues helped me forget mine for while.
Just as I was putting the cans in the trash bag, I here something dropping on the floor. I turned back to see a key. My house key. I can't remember putting it here. Then I looked at the hook by the door. My house key is still there. I looked at the key in my hand again, my mind refusing to register what this means. I sat on the sofa, or rather, I had no strength to stand so I sat on the sofa. I stared at the center table trying to decipher what this means when I saw the chain necklace in the middle of the empty beer cans. I closed my eyes and leaned my head at the back of the sofa. It just dawned at me. Mew was here last night. He probably saw Diane. I don't even know what he saw exactly. I covered my face with my hands. Fuck!!!!
Isn't this what you want Gulf? You have been putting him off for ten fucking days now. He finally left you alone. Shit. I want another beer.
I stood up to get a can of beer in the fridge, when I saw the paper bag of the packed lunch Mew brought yesterday. I haven't eaten anything yesterday. I might as well eat this now. I took it and fished out it's content. In the middle of the two plastic wares look like a folded piece of paper. I got it and opened it. There's two pages. As I realized what it is, I sat down, preparing myself on it's contents.
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Gulf,
I remember meeting you for the first time at the lobby of my favorite hotel. You were squirmish trying to loosen your tie. I didn't know you then and I doubt you remember that meeting as well. For me though, that meeting was magical. It was the start of something beautiful. Every moment with you from then on was a proof of the lengths I will go to for you. I never doubted how I felt for you, not even once.
I know that there were times when you might have felt I am pushing back. I may have and for that I am sorry. I want you to know though that it 's not because I am not certain of how I feel about you, rather, I didn't want to choke you. I wanted you to be comfortable. I wanted you to be you. I didn't want you to find any reason to leave me. I wanted to be perfect for you.
If only I have met you sooner, I assure you my firsts would all have been spent with you. But that's not the case. You came in a time when I have been a broken man, a time when I was already hardened by all the experiences I had to go through. But Gulf, don't you think this is the best time to be? Because this is exactly what I think. Someone else might have gotten all my first. But Gulf, I'd rather have you as my last.
The last person I cook meals for. The last person I get to sleep with until my dying breath. The last person I play gameboards with. The last person I get to sing for. The last person I will fight with and make up with. The last person I get to say I love you, every fucking day.
Gulf you have my last everything. I am yours, every broken piece of me you have mended is all yours.
UR Mew.
P.S. I hope you like my gift. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
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I looked at the next page and saw a Star Registration Certificate.
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