Small Doses

Chapter 39: Mew

"Gramms......hik...hik....." I said talking to my granny's tombstone. I have been here since Friday night. A bottle of bourbon keeping me company.  My pants dirtied from sitting on the floor. The tears in my eyes haven't stopped flowing.

"Gramms, why do I always need to beg for love? Even you left me so early." I said bowing my head. "This is so tiring." I gulped the alcohol straight from the bottle. 

No matter what I do, I end up alone, even if I try to be perfect or mold myself to someone else's expectations, it always end up the same. I closed my eyes, my head leaning at a cement wall housing my grandmother's tombstone.

"Mew."

I looked up to Ben.

"You haven't slept and eaten for two days. Let me bring you home. It's going to rain soon."

I looked at Ben. He is the only constant in my life right now. "Ben, have I told you how thankful I am to you for sticking with me? Thank you, I will forever be grateful. I will always be here for you and your family." My voice hoarse probably because of my drunkeness or because of my nonstop crying.

"And I will always be grateful to you Mew, for taking care of me and my family." Ben said.

"Just tell me if you need anything else. You are a family to me." I said, thankful of the little things.

"Mew, you are going to be sick if you don't stop this. Let me bring you home." Ben said.

I looked back at Gramms tombstone, "I'll stay here Ben. I don't want to go home."

"Then I'll stay here with you." Ben silently sat down on the opposite wall.

"Why is this happening to me Ben?" I asked my driver who not even once meddled in my affairs.

"I always say this to Olive and I will tell you too. Do the best you can in all situations, but if everything fails Son, when you still feel lost or uncertain or insecure you go back to you, not the person who hurt you, not the person you love, but you." Then he pointed to my heart, "Strip away all the other people who makes you doubt yourself and discover what's left inside you, because what's left is just you. Once you find that, start over. That's self-preservation, it's for your own sanity."

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Shit. My headache won't go away. I almost did not go to work but remembered that the company still needs to be run even with my personal issues. Ping. The elevator opened and I got out. As I stepped out the elevator, I hear Olive's voice right away.

"Good Morning Sir Mew," her voice is so high pitched, it's worsening my headache. I continued to walk to my office. "Sir Mew."

I turned to Olive, "What is it Olive?" I asked.

"I've been contacting you all weekend," She said.

"I haven't turned my phone on yet. I'll check your messages as soon as I sit down," Then I opened my office door at the same time Olive said----

"Wait!----"

Too fucking late. Gulf's desk is back in my office. Then I notice a faint smell of paint. My head is ticking, "Olive! Come here!" I said as if I didn't see Gulf sitting in his desk. I continued to my desk chair and sat.

Olive is in front of my desk with her hands twistng a pen in front of her, "Yes Sir."

"Explain Olive." I said. It's too early for a confrontation.

"Well uhmmm... " She said, then she turned to Gulf. Gulf stood up backing her up. "I uhhhhm, contacted you this weekend to let you know that there is a paint job on Sir G's----"