SLEEPSONG (BoyxBoy)✔️

Chapter 123

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three

Love was over, Sebastian had gone to take care of whatever it was he still needed to do, and I was standing in our suite bathroom staring at myself in the mirror with weird feelings of apprehension and shyness running through me. 

It wasn't because of the vicious, intense, leg-numbing sex we'd just had.

It wasn't because I was about to take a dip in a huge pool when I had no idea how to swim.

It wasn't because my limbs were like jello, or that my butt was a little sore, or that the aftermath of what he'd done to me was still showing its colors between my legs after multiple attempts at getting myself cleaned up. It wasn't any of those things. I was used to them, after all.

No... it was because of what I was currently wearing.

I swallowed hard, staring into the large blue eyes that reflected copious amounts of anxiety, looking nervous and worried and vulnerable, making me hate my own expressions and the fact that I couldn't hide my emotions from myself. Looking at my own eyes revealed the ugly truth.

I was scared of what would happen if I walked into the pool area like this.

The sunflower yellow Bikini fit my extremely slim figure like a glove, and in fact the cut of the string-tied bottom seemed to enhance the shape of my hips and butt, making it look more full and curved than it really was. I looked at the wide expanse of pale skin beneath the padded top covering my obviously flat chest, taking in the ugly scars marring my flesh.

It would be obvious to anyone who looked that I'd been stabbed.

The lines were wide and ugly, but my long brown hair could hide most of it. I looked at the burn scars on my arm from where I'd caught fire all those years ago, swallowing.

I hesitantly tied the soft waterproof shawl that was supposed to connect to the bikini bottom around my waist. It hung around my legs like a skirt, and I shivered violently, trying not to lose my nerve. I looked at myself one last time, patting my cheeks to give myself some confidence.

It was a woman's suit, but I decided to pay more attention to the good things than the bad. 

The color actually went well with my hair color and pasty skin tone, and it certainly flattered my figure. Heck, the top even enhanced my chest shape to the point where I could probably get away with not having any breasts to speak of. I had also, admittedly, put on a little bit of weight since I could clearly see that my belly had very much fleshed out. 

It didn't matter what I wore since I knew Sebastian would love me either way.

I turned and looked at myself from the side, examining my hair with a small frown.

The ends of it hung down past my backside and brushed against my lower thighs. I didn't want it getting in my face while I was swimming and fiddled with it for a second, remembering that Tiffany had once done my hair into Heidi-pigtails as well as the reaction it had garnered from Sebastian.

With a sigh, I carefully parted my hair and started braiding it over my shoulder, fingers working skillfully and efficiently down the length of my tresses until I hit the end. I pulled a few hair ties out of my backpack, which was sitting on the toilet, and tied the end of the braid before starting on the other side and quickly doing the same thing. I felt very weird once I was finally finished.

I turned my head this way and that, checking to make sure it wasn't screwed up, and then I simply stepped back and stared at myself. It was hard to fathom that I was who I was.