Fears of the Future; Pains of the Past

4.4K 188 172
                                    

Your mind was back to the present again. The remnants of those flash blacks sinking away into your head as you looked forward to Komaeda.

"I have to tell you something..." Komaeda started. His hands fidgeted at his sides. "I was already afraid before, like always... But it didn't matter to me enough then. Now, I can't get it out of my mind. I'm worried you'll die if you continue being friends with me. Or even just continue being around me. For as long as I can remember, no one has ever been completely safe from my luck, and I don't want to lose you! You're my only friend....!" He grabbed your hand and held it tightly, he really didn't seem to want you to leave, but you could still feel his genuine fear of later possibilities "I don't want to risk it, I don't know what I'd do if you died, the despair would be too much! I just know it...! And... I know I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve to get hurt because of me. You should just leave me alone, please, this is the only way I could ever stand you leaving me-"

"Nagito!" You looked up at him angrily with tears in your eyes. You hadn't been this angry in years, since you were a child, you had such a patience streak and you were surprised that he was the one to break it.

"No! I won't do that, especially not for a reason like that!" You sniffled, grabbing the hand you were holding with your other hand. "I-I can't do that! I don't know what I'd do without you here as my friend either ya'know..." Nagito's eyes widened and he couldn't help but smile and reach his other hand up to wipe away your tears. "I'm sorry, I made you cry.... But I can't handle the despair it would bring me... If you died. Besides... Your life shouldn't be cut short at the hands of trash like me." You were scared too, of his luck. Yeah, you'd heard it had done terrible things, even though you were never told what, you knew that it could kill. It was so two sided.
On one hand, it could give Nagito unimaginable luck,
But next, it would give an even worse despair, and if he really hadn't ever had a friend? 

Your arrival must've been the most incredible luck he'd had in a while. So that could only mean...

"It doesn't matter to me... I don't care what your luck does to me, I'll endure it. I can't leave you all alone! That would be a bad thing to do as a friend right?" Nagito tilted your head in his hand to face him. "Are you sure?" he asked sternly. "Do you really want to risk your life, just to be friends with someone as worthless as me? I don't even make a dent in history, yet you contribute your whole heart to the world as a new talent. I don't deserve a friend like you." He smiled sadly. You hugged him tightly, "Yeah, I don't care, as long as you're here, I'll be able to protect myself." Nagito hugged you back, "I promise to protect you (Y/n), you don't have to do a thing. I'm just so grateful to have someone like you care about me at all!" The emotions in his eyes started to swirl wildly once again as he smiled. Did he still feel hopeless?

You pulled away and giggled as you looked at his face and wiped away a couple of tears, "You're making that face again." "I hope you don't mind me being this way, I'm so clingy, and annoying, right?" He said as you both fell to your knees, you wrapping your arms around him again. "No. Not at all."
.

.

.
You both eventually packed up to go home, and at this point it was night. You didn't have anyone at home waiting for you so you led him to what he thought was your house. Once you passed up your street the curiosity he expressed was easily visible on his pale face, even under nothing but the moonlight. "Just wait, I want to show you a place I've always loved." You said in a hushed tone.

You lead him to the wooded forest area near your home and then past it to the meadow. You pulled him over towards your favorite tree, and with it the memorial shrine of your deceased friend.

He sat with you, and as you looked up at the stars he looked at the memorial shrine. Abruptly, he got up and walked away, so you called to him. "Where are you going?"

"Don't worry, I'll be back", He chuckled at how adorably worried you were and continued walking away.

He came back in less than two minutes later with a small set of flowers, and gently laid them next to the memorial shrine, then silently payed his respects. You teared up, and he turned to you just in time to notice you and wipe off your face with his sleeve. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry... I'm guessing it would be too painful for you if I asked you anything right?" He smiled apologetically and you shook your head. "No, I don't mind telling you, I want to! I just got a little emotional is all. Thank you..." You looked back up at the stars, and he did too.

"Their name was (Bf/n), and we didn't know each other very well at first. Their parents were friends with mine, and after their parents died, my family happened to be the closest relative they had. (Bf/n) moved in with us and we became best friends, they were like an older sibling to me, figuratively and literally I suppose." You chuckled. "One day we were riding our bikes and I hit a rock. My bike fell down into these woods and (Bf/n) went in with me to help me find it. We got lost somehow, and being as young as we were, we just curiously looked around. I was scared, but they were a pretty good navigator and (Bf/n) had not only found our way back, but even mapped out most of this forest and found this meadow! We started coming here often, but in 7th grade, we found out (Bf/n) had leukemia, and they eventually passed right in front of my eyes. I can never forget how it felt... to watch them suffer in the hospital bed before the light in their eyes eventually left..." You began to stare up at the sky again, then you started to sniffle. Your voice had gone monotone, and aside from light hiccups, you seemed completely devoid of energy and emotion.

Nagito wrapped his arms around you and looked up at the starry night sky as he let you cry. He understood, he knew all too well the feeling of losing a close friend, a family member, someone dear to you. And now, he wanted to make sure that as your friend, you never had to deal with that kind of despair ever again. He laid your head on his flat chest as you continued to silently sob, and you looked up at him for a few seconds. He looked pained seeing you cry. Softly petting your head, he felt you hiccup against him again and eventually your crying slowly came to a stop. Looking down, he realized you'd fallen asleep on him. Comfortably shifting a little, he eventually fell asleep as well.

You really couldn't help it now. You were falling for him, hard and fast.

The Ultimate Sweetheart: Book One- Luck Arc (Nagito Komaeda x Female!Reader)Where stories live. Discover now